Phan / Oneshots Collection

Letter

dan writes a letter to phil

I've gotten inspiration from others stories to do this. It's a bit angst, but cute.

--

I sit under the bright light of my desk lamp late at night, thinking. I wasn't editing a video or thinking about the unknown or having existential thoughts as usual; I was writing a letter.

I wouldn't really call it a 'letter', but probably a way to express my thoughts and feelings. This isn't the first letter I've written to him...this is the one of many. These little notes and scribbles are just my way of expression. I would never be able to tell him this in person. Maybe one day he'll find these letters, but for now I'Il remain a coward afraid of rejection, I guess. A twenty three year-old British coward. Yup, you heard me right.

I tap my Pokemon pen on the side of my head, trying to come up with words.
I run a hand through the brown mop on my head and begin writing.

'Dear, Phil...'

*~*

I had woken up late in the afternoon, because what main purpose did I have to wake up early? I get up, stretching. I hear my flatmate talking about funny things from the opposite room, so I know he is filming a video.

I instantly think about 'the letter'. Walking to my desk, I hide the piece of paper in a light blue envelope and shove it in the drawer.
I hop in the shower and wash my body and hair quickly before jumping out and heading for my bedroom. I pull on a pair of black skinnies and a plain gray jumper. I dry my hair and decide not to straighten it. As much as I hated my hobbit hair, I was too lazy and useless feeling to straighten it and I had no reason too.

I was just gonna lie in my room for the rest of the day and enjoy my own company..unless Phil wanted to do something, but I knew he'd be editing.
If you want to know more, my name is Dan Howell. I live in a flat in London with my best friend Phil Lester who is 27. We both make YouTube videos for a living and met back in 2009. We've been close ever since.

I've had feelings for him for as long as I could remember. The way his crystal blue eyes stare into mine whenever we film a video together, the way his skin is so pale and his fringe a dark black (he dyes it), and the way he would hug you and cuddle you and wipe your tears away. I know Phil was only doing it as a friendly gesture, but I wish it was so much more.

I sigh as I lay on my bed with my laptop. I mindlessly scroll through Tumblr. I've literally found hundreds of blogs dedicated to me and Phil if we were in a relationship. I find them really cute, honestly, but some people could really calm down.

I lay my laptop down after a while and stare at my blank ceiling. I hear a knock at my door and knowing who it is I manage to say in a monotone voice "come in."
Phil walks in the door, looking usually adorable. His hair fluffed up, a blue Neon Cat shirt, and his usual black skinnies.
"Hey Dan," he said, cheerfully.
"Hi.." I reply with, obviously in a dull tone.

His smiles drops a little.
"Is something wrong?"
He lays next to my side.
I shrug.
"I dunno, Phil. I've been just thinking again. It's nothing."
He slips his hand in mine and I blush so hard my cheeks burn. Yes, we've held hands before, but every time we do, he manages to make me feel the same familiar spark.
"You know you can tell me anything, right? I'm sorry I wasn't with you earlier. I was filming and editing."
"I know," I reply.
"It's just...how do you tell someone you like them, and you're a complete coward?" I sigh, knowing Phil will never get a hint.
"Oh, I didn't know you liked someone, who is this girl?" He ask's.