Kyana Of Cintra

63

Geralt's temper grew worse with her tearful gaze and her accusatory tone. "What are you talking about now?" He demanded, watching her face change under different emotions. 

"What the hell do you think I'm talking about?" She nearly yelled back, although the crack of her voice made her seem a lot less angry. "You snapped at me for no reason and refuse to talk to me. You snatched your hand away when I tried to comfort you. You insult me because I don't want to kill an innocent creature!" 

Geralt scoffed, his eyes blazing with a fierce anger. "That is your job." He snapped, punctuating every word. "For god's sake, we have been getting payed to do this for decades! It's one creature!" Kyana shook her head, her arms crossing over her chest to keep herself warm. 

"One creature? If we were hunting for food and we accidentally killed someone, would your response be 'oh well, just one person'? Are you that shallow?" Geralt laughed cruelly at her. 

"Me? Shallow? Oh please, this is coming from the woman who keeps getting more and more predictable every second I travel with her!" 

"Really? Go ahead, tell me everything you hate about me, because you really haven't been holding back until now." Geralt rubbed his hands together as though he were preparing to really tell her exactly how he felt. His anger astounded her. She had never seen him so irritated for this long. Usually he could simmer his anger after a few hours, although this time it grew and grew until it consumed him. 

"Fine. I hate that you're royalty. I hate that you put a target on my back wherever we go. I hate that you keep Jaskier around us whenever you can even though he annoys the living hell out of me. I hate that you are a Witcher and can still have children, that you barely have any scars. Everyone thinks you're so damn strong when in reality, your mind is weak." Kyana's face melded into sheer disbelief, hidden among pockets of utter despair. 

Silence settled around them. Kyana had been through too much crap to be told she wasn't strong. Abandoned, left to rot, made an outcast to society as a bastard, fallen in love only to be broken in two. Under no circumstances would Kyana be belittled as she was now.  

"Fuck you, Geralt." She whispered as she attempted to grasp the extensive list he had just provided her. "Fuck you." Her eyes turned hard and void of all emotion that would condemn her any further. Geralt saw this, and took it as a sign he was completely right. 

"See? Someone says something correct and your guard goes up and you shut everyone and everything out." Kyana looked him in the eyes, and for the first time that day, Geralt saw how upset he had made her. He saw the tears in her eyes, the hurt on her lips, the realization that she actually was weak shaking her soul and breaking her heart. 

"I'm not weak." She whispered to herself, a futile attempt to convince both herself and him that he was wrong. "I am not weak." She said a little more strongly, uncrossing her arms and trying to keep a strong stance. "You damn well know I am not weak." Geralt sighed, looking around the tent for something a little more fragile to say. His anger was shaking him, like an earthquake ripping through him, yet he knew when he was wrong. 

"I know. That was insensitive, I'm sorry." He apologized gruffly, as though he were forcing himself to say it. Kyana didn't accept it right away, remaining silent and staring at his nose instead of his eyes. She knew if she looked into his eyes, all of her courage to fight back would just melt away, and she would fall into a pit of endless silence, taking all of his hateful words with grace.  

Kyana lifted her eyes and chin, unaccepting of the apology. "You know what Geralt? I think you're the one that's weak." She spat, practically encouraging him to lose himself to his anger. His eyebrows rose, his lips in a sneer as he replied. 

"How so." He gritted out, willing to allow her to take a jab at him in order to forgive his multiple jabs at her. 

"Because only someone weak would say such hateful things to someone already upset. Only the weak would get their satisfaction from kicking people when they're down." Geralt scoffed, rubbing his temples to try and ease some of the pressure reaching his head. 

"I did not kick you when you're down." It was Kyana who scoffed this time, allowing herself to channel some of her pain into anger, let it all out. 

"Yes, you did. I was upset as it was, and you just added fuel to the flame, Geralt." He smiled, although it was sarcastic and hateful and barbed. "You aren't usually so cruel. You're always so kind and funny, I know you, just as you know me. I'm your best friend, Geralt!"

He laughed with no humor, one of his hands running through his hair. "You aren't my anything, you're just a pain in the ass that keeps following me around with her bastard crown hanging heavy on her pretty little shoulders." Kyana was taken aback by the comment, but she wasn't that surprised by it.  

"This isn't about me, is it." She stated, her question completely rhetorical. "This is about my crown." Kyana let out an ironic, humorless laugh. "Please, Geralt, please don't tell me you're being a little bitch over my crown." Kyana demanded, running her hand through the top of her hair. Geralt remained quiet. Kyana gaped at him. "Holy shit, this is about a throne." 

"It isn't about a fucking throne." Geralt bellowed, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. 

"Then what are you so pissed about!" 

"You! I'm pissed at you!" He yelled, ready to tear his hair out. "I'm pissed that I wake up in the morning every single day and I see the sunlight and I think..." He trailed off, sighing. "Forget it. Just stay away from me." 

"Fine." Kyana summoned the courage to say the words to get him out of her tent. "Get out." 

Geralt looked as though he had been slapped in the face. "What?" 

"I said get out. Go to Yennefer, seen as you love her so much." Geralt looked almost appalled, shaking in anger. 

"I don't love Yennefer." He clarified in disgust, breaking most of the tension. 

"You don't?" Kyana asked, her eyebrows furrowing in confusion. Geralt huffed a laugh. 

"Fuck no. I've been watching her to make sure she doesn't try to attack you again." Kyana's breath escaped her for a moment. He wasn't in love with Yennefer, he was protecting Kyana. Instead of saying anything, he just looked her in the eyes so deeply, Kyana saw everything. All of his feelings poured into his golden eyes, all of his regrets and his anger, and she started to see the truth. 

When he left that tent, into the brisk and bitter air, Geralt realized that he was a complete idiot. He realized he just hurt the woman who had stood by him all these years, protected him with her life, because he got scared. The truth was, Geralt stayed true to his word all those years ago. Every morning, when the sun rose, she was the first thing he thought about. He was scared that she would need to leave for her throne, leave him behind. He was scared of loving someone. 

Then he knew he already did.