Kyana Of Cintra

29

A man sat in the pub, covered in dirt and blood, relaying a truly 'terrifying' tale. "I tell you no lie! It swallowed the whole village, it did. Not a bone to be found! Oh, don't give me that look, shitling. That's why we had to call them!" He stood, emphasizing his story to instill his terror into others, who listened intensely. "The White Wolf and the Sapphire Snake! They stood in the middle of that frozen lake like they knew it was coming for them! The ice cracked open and a selkiemore shot out! Oh, you've never seen this one, but it'd take down a ship with its cavernous mouth full of devil's teeth! And it swallowed the Witchers whole!" He cupped his hands, fear in his tone as he told his tale. 

"Oh this is brilliant!" A calm voice stated, followed by the scribbling of a quill against paper. Jaskier looked up, noticing the disbelieving look the villager had given him. "Oh, sorry. It's just Geralt's usually so stingy with details, and so is Kyana, to an extent. Always so vague. And then what happened?" The man didn't know how to react, hesitantly continuing his story. 

"They died." The said sorrowfully. Jaskier looked up at him, not even flinching at the news. 

"Eh, they're fine. Kyana is definitely fine, and she wouldn't let her husband die because she's as stubborn as a mule-"

"Look, I was there, I saw it with my own-" The man was cut off by the door crashing open, revealing Geralt and Kyana, caked in an inch of mud and grime. Jaskier grinned up at the man. 

"See?" Jaskier laughed. Kyana shook her arms in a futile attempt to rid herself of the guts that clung onto her. 

"What's that stench?" The villager asked, looking Geralt and Kyana up and down while the locals covered their mouths and noses in disgust. 

"Onion." Kyana joked. Jaskier laughed, while Geralt shot her a small glare, masking his own amusement in front of people. He still wasn't very public with emotions, even though he had been with Kyana and Jaskier on and off for near enough seven years. People believed they were the most deadly pair in the continent, which wasn't surprising at all, as they had vanquished more monsters together and apart than every other Witcher combined. 

"It's selkiemore guts." People let out noises of disgust at Geralt's blunt revelation. "We had to get it from the inside. I'll take what we're owed." The villager dug a bag of coins from his pocket, throwing them to Geralt, who caught them easily. Jaskier, seeing this as a brilliant opportunity to annoy the hell out of Geralt, began singing 'Toss a coin to your Witchers'. Ample of the townspeople sang along, which just annoyed Geralt even more. Seen as Kyana was also covered in blood and gore, she placed a light hand to the back of Geralt's shoulders, guiding him over to an empty table while laughter erupted around them. 

"Ale, please." She said politely to the bartender, who nodded and placed two cups full of ale in front of them. Geralt picked up the ale, drinking most of it with a single gulp, and spitting the rest of it when he could taste the blood in his mouth. Kyana slid her ale over to him, which he accepted with a grateful smile. Geralt usually drank barrels after killing a monster, although Kyana always asked for a bath, nothing more. 

Jaskier approached them from behind, whispering gently into their ears. "You're welcome. And now, Witchers, it's time to repay your debts. 'What debts?' you're probably asking yourselves in your heads right now. Well, I'll tell you. I've made you famous, Witchers. By rights, I should be claiming ten percent of all your coin, but instead, what I'm asking for is a teeny, teeny-weeny little favor." Kyana rolled her eyes, peeling the dirty layer of her overcoat from her body, leaving her in just a shirt and her leathers. 

"Fuck off, bard." Geralt growled defensively, wiping some dirt from his hands.

"For one measly night of service, you will gain a cornucopia of earthly delights. The greatest masters of the culinary arts crafting morsels worthy of the gods. Maidens that would make the sun itself blush with a single, comely smile." At this point, Geralt and Kyana had enough. both tired and in need of rest from their task. As a last attempt, Jaskier shouted "Food, women and wine, Geralt!"

Kyana rolled her eyes when his steps faltered. "I'll be in my room." She said lightly, walking up the stairs with steps so light Geralt failed to hear them.

Kyana asked some maids to bring her warm water, which they did. Kyana thanked them, scenting the bath with bits of lavender she kept in a pouch in her bag. She scrubbed away at her skin, leaving it glowing with irritation, but as clean as it could be. Her hair, which had been stained the most putrid of browns, was back to being sapphire blue, long and silky, even longer than Jaskier remembered it being.

The maids gave her underwear and an overweight man's shirt and old hunting trousers while they looked for clothing for her. Kyana shrugged it on, the beautiful olive green material reaching her lower thighs, leaving much of her top half to the imagination. The hunting trousers were designed for a man with slightly less muscular thighs, and so they were a little tight on her, but fit all the same.

Jaskier knocked on her door impatiently. She opened it, watching as his eyebrow rise at the sight of what she was wearing. While her top part was sufficiently covered, her trousers, like a second skin, left her legs and ass for all the world to see.

"What do you need, Jaskier?" She asked, half embarrassed, half tired. He stuck his thumb out in the direction of Geralt's room.

"He needs a bath, won't let me touch his hair, the proud little-"

"Jaskier." Kyana cut him off. "You are aware that we have had a long, trying day. Be patient with him, and you will be rewarded." Jaskier scoffed.

"Easy for you to say, you're his wife, it's his job to reward you." Kyana rose a surprised eyebrow, pulling the door shut to her bedroom behind her.

"He does reward me, with his company and brilliant, although stubborn, mind. Also, I'm not his wife." Kyana said casually, passing Jaskier, whose mouth hung agape.

"You mean, that you, what?"

Kyana smiled, opening the door to Geralt's room. "Playful teasing to an oblivious stranger meant for a bit of fun." She explained, disappearing into the room.

Jaskier could barely contain his shock at the fact that Geralt engaged in something that was fun. Who had kidnapped Geralt of Rivia and left this impostor in his place? Jaskier attempted to get over his surprise, before following after her quickly, desperate for the favour he believed he was owed.