Day 192 ☺️💜

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Day 192 is done for me. ☺️💜 I am so tired. 😅😅

But it's been a pretty great day! My walk was really nice, I ate delicious food, and played cards with the fam! 💜

Today, I made a self-discovery where I realized. .I rushed most of the romantic relationships I've had. I have been stuck on this ideal of what that type of love should be for so long that I never realized that I was wrong. .until now.

Instead of actually letting a friendship bloom, when I felt feelings that I didn't feel with others, I would dive head-in. I would confess my feelings and if things worked out, great. But it was an issue when I'd get rejected.

I became uncomfortable with the friend zone and start questioning my worth. But the craziest part is. .I would talk to the person, in hopes that they would come to like me instead of accepting the situation for what it was.

And then, if things worked out and then a break up occurred, I regretted it, most of the time. Some break ups needed to happen, but when I'd break up with someone or if someone would break up with me, I'd realize. .I lost a good friend. And then, today, it made me realize. .what if I confused companionship for wanting to be in a relationship?

So yeah. I want to not only keep working on loving myself, but I want to slow things down. I want to rediscover what romantic love truly is instead of just jumping the gun without truly understanding. I also want to explore the difference between companionship and a relationship. I think doing these things will help me become a wiser person, a better friend, and a better lover in the future. ☺️💜

On that note, I hope you guys have a great night and sweet dreams!! 💜💜 I love you guys, and hope you love or will come to love yourselves, too! 💜💜💜

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