Love: Yourself Challenge

Extra p. 9: Being in an abusive relationship p. 1

Today, I'm going to tell you a story. Something I've been afraid to talk about for years because of how it traumatized me. Not only in the sense of what happened, but coming out about it and nobody believing me. If you still choose to not believe me, it's okay. I'm mainly talking to my friends that have been in abusive relationships, or are currently in these hurtful relationships, anyway. 😌 I will warn you now, it will contain mentions of rape and guilt-tripping.

So. .when I was a junior in high school, I began dating this guy (not throwing out names because yeah. I'm not reporting him. That's not my purpose in telling you this) that people were very weary about. Some of my friends in band would talk about the things he's done, but I was (and still am) a firm believer that people can change. Even if they make mistakes, they can be redeemable.

But in this case, that philosophy was naive of me. Everything was fine, at first. He was very kind and he made a great impression with my family. 😊

But then, when shit hit the fan, I became very. .scared to tell my family because they didn't see the behind the scenes. He would always show a kind face to my family, but the things he did to me. .they took me a long time to get over.

I refuse to let anyone have anal sex with me to this day because of what he did. Even after I would tell him, "No," numerous times, he'd ignore it. He would coax me into doing it, despite the fact that I would cry every time.

And then. .he would guilt-trip me when I'd try to break off the relationship. You'd think after this story, I would be driving by now, but no. I am still working on it.

But yeah, he'd drive me to band practice because my parents were too busy. They worked hard (and still work hard) so that they could provide for us. So, when the relationship went south, I would regret that he'd drive me. Not only that, he would use this against me, when I tried to break things off. "After all I've done for you, this is what I get?" So, I stayed with him until. .my freshman year of college.

Until it became a choice between him and my family. Of course, without a second thought, I walked away. But see, this is where I was naive. .