Just A Song //Thomas Brodie Sangster//

Chapter 9

He smiles so wide I think his mouth is about to fall off. I laugh at his adorableness. Wait what? Did I really just call him adorable? I shake my head a little. He chuckles. I look up at him.

“So what now?” I ask. He shrugs. We sit and watch the fire do as I strum the guitar just a little. The owls start whoing and the birds are going to sleep now. He grabs the guitar out of my hands and strums it. I put my hands in my lap and think. Did I really just say yes to become Thomas Sangster’s girlfriend? I did but I feel…. Weird. Something inside of me feels different. Like something’s not right. Why did I just agree to become this boy’s girlfriend when I barely know him, and we kissed and now what? I don’t know what this feeling is. Is it joy? Happiness? Wanting? Regret? I don’t know. I stare into the fire as he starts to hum a song that I’m not familiar with. My heart starts racing. What is it with this boy and making my heart start to race? Why does this happen? Yes he is attractive but I’ve seen many attractive boys and they didn’t make my heart race. Is it because I’m friends with him? Is it because he is an actor? What is it? I feel frustrated and confused. Why? I want to be with him but at the same time I don’t. What if he’s just using me? What if I’m just some random lonely girl he’s trying to make happy? I bet right after this trip he’ll go home and forget all about me forget that I ever existed and just go on with his celebrity life. While I’ll be at home trying to figure out why he never calls or texts back. I don’t want to end up like that. I sigh. Might as well enjoy it while it lasts. When I get home I’ll go back to my normal routine of reading and playing music and my life will be normal and I’ll forget all of this ever happened and he will too probably. We sat there for a while strumming the guitar and humming gently. I don’t know what to really do, I like him but I don’t. It confuses me, almost scares me. Something tingles inside of me. Of course I like him. He’s funny, caring; handsome and almost just like me. How perfect can he get? I start thinking about if we had a future. Then something dropped inside of me. After this, we’ll probably never see each other again. I’ll just be one of his ex’s girlfriends and he’ll be one of my ex’s boyfriends, well my first. Anyways I shouldn’t get to excited and happy because whenever I get happy about something bad always happens. I’ll just play it off for the next week in a half or so, and then when we get home I won’t be as sad. Everything will be back to normal. I sighed and got up.

“Well I’m tired.” I say pouring water on the fire. He stood up and handed me back the guitar.

“Good night Thomas.” I say. He embraces me in a hug and kisses the top of my head.

“Night Autumn.” He says and lets go. I head to my tent and he heads to the cabin. I sigh and zip up my tent. I put my guitar in its case and change into my pajamas. I crawl into bed and snuggle up in the bed. I close my eyes.

“It’ll all be over soon, then you can go back to your normal life and he’ll go back to his forgetting about all of this. And so will you Autumn. So will you.” I whisper to myself and then drift off into sleep