One Drunken Night

twenty six: my

dedicated to OMGGiseleisawolf cos of her really epic comment about lemons on the previous chapter hahaha

Kelly's

Thursday Morning

Swerve out of my lane, idiots. Stop blocking the way.

I'm sorry, that was uncalled for. It's Thursday morning, and it feels worse than a thousand Monday blues clumped together. I guess I'm just tired. Sleeping at 3a.m. on a school day: not a good idea. These few nights haven't been good. I would toss and turn in bed, stare at the ceiling, sit alone in the dark of the night. The unanswered questions were eating me alive and as time waltzed by, raindrops started to fall and I wondered if it rained just so I could drown in something other than my thoughts.

My footsteps pound heavily across the hallway to my lockers, moving against the crowd of noisy freshmen on orientation. I tiptoe to get a decent vision on where I was heading. Something catches my eye, but before I could take a second glance I immediately fall back onto my heels.

It can't be. I must be delusional.

He isn't even going to be back for two weeks.

My reflexes sharpen, and I jostle my way through the sardine-packed corridors, constantly bopping up to check if I was indeed hallucinating. I couldn't take any chances.

"Ethan?" My voice wavers, hesitant and unsure. He freezes.

"Ethan..." I call louder, ready to confront him in that instance, to cry aloud everything that I couldn't have but wanted to say, and I was determined to make him listen, stay, and forgive me.

He turns around, his gaze falling into mine, sweeping all thoughts out of my head. He looked at me differently, but with the same eyes I fell in love with.

My tongue knots, and I scramble to reorder my words. But before I could say anything, he grabs my hand and pulls me along, and we sieve through the sea of people into a room. It was the same room we had detention in together; where we decided on the damned road trip; where everything fell together and fell apart.

The minute he slams the door close, he throws his bag on the table and begins scouring it, like he was looking for something important. I didn't know what he was trying to do. I look over at him intently. His eye bags were heavier than ever; His thin champagne lips were chapped. He looked haggard, worn out and exhausted. Where have you been?

"Hey-"

"This." He sweeps out of the bag a necklace, to my unexpectedly expected horror. My jaw drops, and once again I can barely stutter.

"You wanted it, right? I'll give it to you, on one condition. Just one. Promise me; don't tell anybody, I beg you. And I'm begging you, because I don't know if I can trust you anymore, but please: I got you what you wanted; please grant me one last favor. You can do whatever else you please." He pushes the necklace into my palm. I try to grab his hand before he leaves but he shrugs off my grip. "But-"

"You don't have to care about me. I won't get upset; I won't get mad. I'm not mad, how can I be? I have no right to be." He exhales, chest sinking in. "You're not mine." He grabs his bag pack and runs out of the room.

Wait.

Don't go.

"I'm sorry."

I sat down on the wooden desk, staring at the necklace, before throwing it down onto the ground. The chain breaks apart, and the charms scatter in all directions.

I don't need this stupid necklace. I was better off without it. I was happier with you. I'm sorry for hurting your feelings. I didn't mean to play you're your feelings. I didn't mean to break your trust in me. I didn't mean to leave you all by yourself again. If I could reverse time, I would never have abandoned you that night.

I'm sorry you can't trust me anymore.

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*Excuse the caps lock I felt that lower case couldn't achieve the effect I was going for.
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Ethan's

(Flashback)

Tuesday Morning

I TOOK A DRIVE TO CLEAR MY MIND AND IT TURNED INTO A SEVEN-HOUR WAR WITHIN MYSELF; ONE SIDE TOLD ME TO FIGHT FOR YOU; ONE SIDE TOLD ME TO LET YOU GO. BUT NEITHER ONE WON, BECAUSE YOU WERE'NT MINE TO BEGIN WITH AND NOW I'M LOST 367 MILES FROM HOME FAR AWAY FROM YOU IN THE GOD FORSAKEN PLACE WHERE WE BUILT OUR MEMORIES ONLY TO LEAVE IT TO HISTORY. THE SKY IS FALLING AND EVERYTHING IS GREY AND I CAN'T TELL IF THE WINDSHIELD IS BLURRED FROM THE RAIN OR THE TEARS WELLING IN MY EYES BECAUSE ALL I THINK ABOUT IS HOW SWERVING THE CAR OFF THE CLIFF COULD STILL HURT LESS THAN THE UPSETTING ENDING CRUSHING AGAINST MY CHEST AND KNOWING THAT I WAS WRONG TO TRUST TOO EARLY. FOR A SECOND I THOUGHT YOU'D BE ABLE TO PICK ME UP PIECE BY PIECE BUT INSTEAD YOU GAVE ME ANOTHER REASON TO SIT ALONE AND BLEED. YOU PROMISED ME YOU'D ALWAYS BE THERE AROUND THE CORNER, UNFORTUNATELY I REALIZED THAT THE EARTH IS ROUND, BUT MY HEART STILL DOESN'T KNOW WHEN TO GIVE UP. AT THIS RATE I WOULD RATHER DIE BUT I COULDN'T BEAR TO GO SOMEWHERE WHERE I'D NEVER SEE YOU AGAIN SO MAYBE I'LL JUST LOVE YOU FROM THE SIDEWALK.