Beyond The Music

Chapter Eleven - Mika

This chapter isn't as long as the others. 

Enjoy

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What am I doing? I don't understand why I had to get away from him so fast but I did and now he probably thinks he did something wrong, maybe he did or maybe he didn't. I don't know, all of these different thoughts are running around through my head and I am so confused right now I just have to do something that will get my mind off of Steven and his god damn kissing that sends me into overdrive. What is wrong with me? All of the other times I've been kissed, I didn't feel anything near to what I feel when he kisses me and what am I suppose to do now? I can't just go up to him and tell him what I feel; it'll make everything too weird between us if he doesn't feel the same way. It doesn't help when we have a date after school on Thursday this week and I'm afraid that I'll be an idiot and a total fool, and then he won't want to go out with me on a second date. I've been shut down a few times but I somehow don't think that I will handle it the same way I normally do when that kind of thing happens to me. What am I suppose to do when he realises who I really am, during school I'm this shy person, well kind of shy but also outgoing when I'm annoyed or frustrated at people, and on dates I'm this entirely new person. With people that I like a lot, it's hard to explain but it's like I wear this kind of mask that hides the real me from people and then they don't know how I really am but when I do show them, they can't handle a lot of the stuff I do and how I react towards certain things. What if Steven doesn't really like me like he said he does? If he chose Caitlyn even after what he said to her earlier today, I won't be able to handle the look on her face when she brags about it to all of her friends.

"Mika? Mika, are you okay?" I snapped my head towards Keira in the passenger seat as she looked at me questioningly as she waited for me to reply.

"What?"

"Are you okay, Mika? We've been sitting here for about ten minutes in your driveway while you stare out of the window at you're house."

"Oh, sorry. Just thinking about things. Let's go inside," I opened my door and grabbed my bag but froze when I realised that I left my book back in the music room. "Change of plans, we have to go back to school for a second," I shut my door and started the engine again.

"Why?" Keira shut her door too and looked at me.

"I left my book back in the music room and I can't afford to lose it," I quickly backed out of the driveway and headed towards the school.

"You mean you actually left you're book unattended in the music room?"

"Yes. Steven snatched my book out of my hands and once I got it back, I guess I dropped it and tackled him or something and I must not have picked it up before I left because it's not in my bag and I never leave it in my locker."

"I know how important that book is to you, so lets pick up the pace before someone finds it and reads everything in there," I stepped on the gas and sped down the street towards the high school.

"Where the hell is it? I'm pretty sure I dropped it right here and I didn't do anything over here so it should have still been right here where I left it," I searched the music room from floor to ceiling but I still couldn't find my bloody book. I turned towards Keira as she looked around the piano and in the cupboard near the door but she couldn't find it either.

"Maybe Steven picked it up before he left after you did," she leaned up against the piano as I frantically ripped the couch cushions off of the base, hoping that my book would be around here somewhere. "We could always ask him if he has it or maybe he'll return it to you when you're at home," I replaced the cushions and turned around to face Keira as she walked towards me and smiled.