"When you think you have it all but in the end, everything he did was like a game for him".
Trying to find love as an artist; despite all the tiring activities and rehearsals, both of them want each other but is difficult to say.
*Mature rating on s...
The show is here, we are singing and performing as everybody is trying to enjoy the moment. I'm trying my best too, even though everything doesn't seem right at this point. It's been a couple of hours since the concerts started, we are halfway through it and during all this time I couldn't focus on someone else but Taehyung. He's been looking amazing on stage, he laughs and has a great time with the rest of the members, so do I. Nevertheless, I know that deep inside both are the same way. We want to be with one another, and we don't care to be a judge or if people stop supporting us; there has come a time where the only ones who matter are us.
ARMYs are louder than ever; they are singing along with us as much as their lungs can take. It's making us all emotional, and the way the whole scene looks it's getting into me more than I anticipated.
Right now, we are singing The Truth Untold. Everybody is singing flawlessly and so far the lights coming from the crowd are making the performance even brighter. From time to time, I'm glancing towards Taehyung's direction and I couldn't help but feel sad about being away from him.
It was my turn to sing my part, and as soon as I put the mic against my mouth, I started to let everything out. I closed my eyes and sang with all my emotions combined; I let everything flow and focused on processing all the struggles inside my mind and let it out through my voice. And as I was singing, ARMYs started to shout Taehyung's name along with mine; I looked immediately at Tae and he was just as surprised as me, then he just smiled slightly before singing his part.
*Hours later*
-Taehyung's POV-
The concert went amazingly well, nobody cried at the end but we were about to. The crowd was super nice and energetic which made the whole night more enjoyable. Right now, all the members are back at the hotel rooms. We arrived very tiredly from the concert but the majority were happy about the results of tonight.
Jimin and I didn't talk nor stood next to each other in the whole concert, and the only moment we interacted was when the crowd started to shout both of our names. It was such a magical moment and the only one I have got through the entire night.
Yeontan is laying down right beside me while I'm looking up to the ceiling. I'm trying to find some comfort by myself even though Jungkook is right here trying to cheer me up.
-Did you notice how beautiful he looked? – I asked, smiling while remembering him on my mind.
-To be honest, I'm worried about you. The same thing has come out of your mouth since we arrived in the room – Jungkook told.
-Have I? – I asked confused.
-Yes, Yeontan fell asleep while listening to you – Jungkook sighed.
-Oh, I feel sorry – I said while closing my eyes.
-Hyung, are you okay? I'm truly worried about you; I don't want Jimin-hyung and you to be like this – Jungkook looked at me concerned.
-Kookie, I'm just as concerned as you are – I admitted. -I don't know what to do or how should I act... I just know that Hyonu did what he promised and it was way sooner than I anticipated – I spoke.
-You need to talk with him about Hyonu. Jimin deserves to know who he is and what a threat he is to your relationship – Jungkook stated.
-That's my point! I don't think there's nothing left from our relationship – I said, feeling upset with myself.
-There are so many things left; I'm telling you this because I don't want to see you struggle any more, hyung. None of you should go through this because of one single person – Jungkook told.
-I don't know if I can tell him about him – I sighed concerned.
-You need to because if you don't do it, I will – Jungkook assured.
I looked at him speechlessly, he just looked away from me and laid down on his bed. He's giving me his back as I'm just there frustrated by what he just said.
I knew this could happen and despite having in mind the things that will take place, I kept on following my feelings. I don't know if that was the right decision to make.
*2:37 a.m.*
Today is our last day in Phoenix, we are going to the airport in just a few hours and I'm here looking at my laptop. After having such tough days, I decided to watch a video I recorded for Jimin time ago. This seems so long ago but it has just been a few weeks away since I discovered my true feelings for Jimin and after deciding to go for him.
However, I didn't watch the whole video just the part where I promise I'll always stay true to my feelings for him. I needed to remember what I said, and to stay true to my words because I can be anything but never a liar.
I predicted everything that is currently happening; I'm amazed how well I knew Hyonu's plan to destroy and make me get away from Jimin.
With one thing on my mind, I decided to move the video to another folder in my files. He doesn't need to know about him, and in this video I explain everything I went through; since those times when I played with him, the fights I had, the times I arrived later than everyone else; the times I was feeling down for "no reason", and when I was constantly clinging onto him. Everything has a reason and his name is "Hyonu".
Looking at my current situation, I wonder when I gave him so much power to destroy me. I feel like I'm on the ground and he's above me every way I go but I don't understand where was the breaking point I let him take control over me. I know I should step up and fight for what I stand for, but something is pulling me away from doing that. Is it fear? Have I lied to myself way too much about being fine? Or, am I just afraid of losing Jimin forever?
More than my boyfriend, my current distress and the happiness in my heart... He's my friend, the best one I could ever ask for. Our friendship is more important than anything else; before I fell in love with him, he was my friend and I would never want that to change. No matter what happens.
At the end of the day, we've been standing on the same stage together for about seven years, and he's the friend I will never want to lose. He's my soulmate and I want to be with him even if the odds are against us.
We'll fight... I know that for sure. But at least I want him to know that his words will mean nothing if he keeps staying by my side.
