I Could Fall

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Ali Santiesteban:
Goodmorning, my baby.

Umagang-umaga ay 'yon agad ang bumungad sa akin. Totoo ba 'tong nababasa ko? Or am I still dreaming?

Then I remembered what happened last night. I immediately checked my ring finger and saw the gold knot. Sunod kong hinawakan ang mga labi ko at napapikit. I can still feel Ali's soft lips brushing mine.

Sunod kong naalala ang pagdating ni Atticus. My smile faded as the memories from last night came back. I have proven that it is possible to be hurt and happy at the same time.

Ganito ba talaga kapag nagmamahal? May nasasaktan talaga? Hindi ba pwedeng masaya lang?

I just want to love him and be happy. Is that so bad?

A part of me wanted to text Atticus and make sure he's okay, dahil hindi matahimil ang utak ko sa pag-aalala sa kanya, but I know that he needs space. Talking to me is like adding salt to the wounds.

I hate it. I hate seeing the people I love hurt. And I never imagined being the reason why someone I love will hurt, pero ngayon ay nangyari na. Gusto kong magalit sa sarili ko. Ang tanging pumipigil lang sa akin na parusahan ang sarili ay dahil sa mga sinabi ni Ali sa akin.

I know he's right. It was out of my countrol, so I can't blame myself... but I still can't stop from feeling guilty.

My parents and Kuya Xavi were already at the dining area, eating breakfast. Wala ang iba kong mga kapatid dahil mas maaga ang pasok nila.

"Good morning po," I shyly greeted everyone. Their heads raised and looked at me.

Bigla akong nahiya dahil sa mga tingin nila. Last night's scene is still fresh. They didn't talk to me last night, maybe to give me some time to rest after what happened. I know they have a lot of questions.

Huminga ako nang malalim at lumapit para humalik sa pisngi nila bilang pagbati.

"Good morning, honey," Mommy murmured as I kissed her cheek.

Si Kuya X ang huli kong hinalikan sa pisngi. He raised a brow at me. I flushed when I remembered what he did last night. Yung pagbusina niya nung nakahinto ang sasakyan ni Ali. Does he know? Hindi naman siguro. Sana hindi! Nakakahiya!

"Did you sleep well?" Mommy asked. She looked really concerned.

I looked at my plate and heavily sighed. "Hindi po masyado Mommy. I'm worried about Atticus."

"I spoke to Agatha last night. Atticus got home safe, thanks to Dashiel, but he was passed out drunk."

Napakagat ako sa labi ko at parang bumaligtad ang sikmura ko sa narinig na balita. "It's my fault."

"Did you lead him on?" Kuya X asked.

Malungkot na umiling ako. "I told him before that I like someone else and that he will always my bestfriend..."

"Then it's not your fault. Don't blame yourself." He shrugged.

I wish it was that easy. Iyon din naman ang tinatatak ko sa isipan ko, but the guilt is still lingering.

"They're brothers, Kuya, and they got into a fight because of me," I sadly exclaimed.

"Listen to your brother, Hyon. 'Wag mong sisihin ang sarili mo," si Daddy naman ang nagsalita. "Your Tito Henry and I got into a fight before because of your mother, pero nagkaayos din naman kami. So don't worry too much."

"What did Ali say about this?" tanong ni Mommy.

Medyo nag-init ang mukha ko sa pagkabanggit kay Ali. I'm not used to talking about him in front of my family. It's a little embarrassing.