I Could Fall

Chapter Three

"Oh? You don't like the food, Hyon?" Mommy suddenly said, catching my attention.

I didn't realize that I was already playing with my food until she noticed it. There's still a lot of portion on my plate but I wasn't in the mood to eat anymore.

I sat up straight and looked at my mother who was seated beside me. She looked concerned as she gazed at me. "Busog na ako, Mommy."

"Do you want to rest early?" she asked with her soothing voice. Tango lang ang naging sagot ko dahil hindi maganda ang pakiramdam ko. She smiled. "Alright, baby. Get cleaned up before going to bed, okay?"

I nodded and stood up from my chair. I kissed her and Daddy on the cheeks. "Goodnight po."

"Night, Hyon," all of my siblings murmured.

"I love you all," I bid before walking away from the dining area.

I cleaned up and changed into my sleepwear before going to the bed, just like what Mommy told me to do.

I wasn't sleepy yet but I don't want to do anything. I hugged the big teddy-bear that Kuya Hadeon got me from a claw machine. I feel very sad and I don't understand.

I thought having a crush was supposed to be all happy. Then why am I sad? Why does seeing him with another girl makes me feel sad?

Is this called jealousy? I've only heard of it from my father. Mom always accuses him that he's jealous whenever she's talking to other guys. Is this it?

Okay, but why would I be jealous? Crush ko lang naman siya. Hindi ko naman siya pinapangarap na maging boyfriend dahil alam kong imposible. I'm just eleven! Hindi pa nga ako pwedeng mag boyfriend! Hindi ako papayagan ni Daddy! Lalo na ng mga kapatid ko!

And just like what Ate Laurene said, guys like him like girls who are matured. I'm just a kid! Tama si Dashiel. I'm too young for this kind of serious things.

At kahit na sabihin na sa pagdating ng panahon na hindi na ako eleven at nasa tamang edad na, I don't think he'll have a crush on me. Ate Laurene's right. If he's out of her league, then it's impossible for me to exist in his. Siguro hanggang paghanga na lang talaga ito. I sadly concluded.

I let my young heart weep and wished for it to grow older and wiser until I finally fell asleep.

♡♡♡

Matamlay pa rin ako sa sumunod na mga araw. Nang dumating ang Friday ay hindi na ako pumunta ng practice ni Kuya Xavi kahit na inaya pa ako ni Ate Lavie.

I was sad because I couldn't see him but I'd rather be sad because I couldn't see him than see him with a girl he probably has a crush on.

The days passed by like that until I felt okay. I was preoccupied with school works, family events, and playing Minecraft with Dashiel.

"Ano? Ina-accept ka na ba ni Vincent sa Facebook?" tanong ni Camille.

Napaangat ang tingin ko mula sa hinahandang art materials para sa susunod na subject. She wasn't talking to me, of course. She's talking to her friend, Erica. She's not in her proper seat. Erica's seatmate is Franco. Wala kasing teacher kaya malaya silang lumilipat para makipag-usap sa kaibigan.

Vincent... I think I know him. If he's talking about the new kid from the other section, then I know him. He added me on Facebook last month, I think?

"Hindi pa," malungkot na sagot ni Erica.

"Ha? Bakit? Sabihin mo kaya ngayon na i-accept ka?" udyok ni Camille.

"Ayaw ko. Nahihiya ako."

"Bakit naman? Ako sinabi ko talaga sa crush ko na na i-accept ako, e. Ginawa naman niya."