not warriors//vinny mauro

45 - ʙᴜʀɴ ʏᴏᴜ ᴜᴘ

[Two months later]

Being in New York became depressing.

University was too tiring. I was working way too hard for this shit.

I didn't have time for myself.

I was studying all night.

I barely talked to people. I didn't have a social life anymore.

I left home early and came back home late. It felt like it was always the night.

I didn't smile anymore. Everything became boring and grey. Nothing was making me smile or laugh.

I just felt like my life was pointless, and constantly the same.

I was kind of trapped in my own life.

I didn't even talk to the boys. Cause I didn't feel like it.

I didn't feel like talking to people, I didn't feel like doing anything.

I still talked to my boyfriend, but I didn't tell him how bad I was feeling.

And I mean, I didn't want to tell him. When I was feeling like that, I didn't want to talk about it.

---

I sat on my bed and rubbed my eyes.

I looked at the mirror in front of me.

I looked ridiculous.

I looked like I hadn't slept in days.

Maybe cause I hadn't.

My hair was a mess. I had dark circles around my eyes. Basically, I looked like shit.

I laid on my bed and sighed.

My phone vibrated. I looked at it.

vin: why don't you answer my texts

me: I'm sorry

vin: what's wrong

me: nothing, I just didn't watch my phone

vin: are you sure about that? you don't text me or the guys anymore. there's obviously something wrong

me: everything is fine, okay?

I just didn't want to tell him, cause I didn't want him to worry about that.

vin: stop lying. I know there's something wrong

vin: tell me

me: vinny stop. I'm fine. stop worrying

vin: you're obviously NOT FINE. tell me what's wrong for fuck's sake

me: I'm fine god stop being so insisting. leave me alone

vin: fuck you I'm just trying to help you

vin: if you don't wanna tell me then just fuck off

vin: stop talking to me if you can't trust me, okay?

I sighed and put my phone down on my bed.

Tears came out of my eyes. I didn't even control it.

I guess I was too tired of everything and it was the thing that made it all come out.

I didn't want to fight with him.