Never Let Me Go (Niall Horan)

Chapter 23 - Asking the same questions over and over again...

Chapter 23 - Asking the same questions over and over again...

Taking a deep breath and composing myself, I stood outside the brown mahogany door that was in front of me, fiddling with my pen and blank not pad, not knowing how to enter and act around to that person just in that room in front of me. All I wanted was a big black hole to just appear and swallow me up whole. But I had to be professional and strong for this person on the other side, who may or may not be exactly like me, letting them trust and let them be open to me.

And we know its never simple or never easy to understand what other people are going through because of that smile that hides everything and makes it look  like that everything is fine and their happy with their life, never knowing what's happening deep down in their heart and those voices controlling when their alone.

And that's what life throws at you, never knowing what's behind closed doors.

"This is always the hardest bit" Linda said from behind me, making me turn around and face her, breathing out a sigh of relief.

"I'm so scared right now"  I said honestly looking down at my high heels, making sure they were clean and looked brand new, even through they were actually killing my feet.

"All you need to do is go in there and smile, listen to them, talk to them, help them, that's all, that's why they're here Katy, to be listened to by you, now go do what you have to do, I know I just threw you into this like that, but i thought they might want someone who was the same when you were here"  Linda said, giving me an encouraging smile and walking off to her office and leaving me alone in the corridor, stressing out like usual.

Taking one last deep breath in, I finally encouraged myself to push the door handle down and open the door.

Sitting in the corner of the little white room typing away on the phone, was a young girl, probably no older than 16 years old, red and purple hair, no make up just loads and loads of mascara covering her long lashes around her eyes, and wearing leggings with a wholly jumper on, not even acknowledging my existence in the room as I put my pen and note pad on the desk in front of me, as well as seeing her name was Lia, and to be quite honest, trying not to judge her from my point of view, which was rude and vain. But I needed to firstly know why she was here and actually get to know her also.

"Ive been to so many of these therapists sessions ya know, I don't see why you're here, I normally have those grumpy old women deciding whats wrong with me, all being fucking wrong and delusional at what's happening around them and me" Lia said as I sat in the rotating chair and knowing what she was talking about, going in and straight back out of the same kind of therapists, those grey, old grumpy kind of don't-care-for-anybody-but-themselves kind of people who you really despise.

"I know what you mean" I simply replied, making her look up and make her head move slightly to the side.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean what you just said, you just wanna talk to someone about what's going on in that head of yours, Isn't that right?"  I questioned, letting her think a bit as I put my pad and pen to the side, she just wanted to be listened to, and writing down words on a piece of paper doesn't really tell you whats happening, it just looks like jumbled up words with no meaning, not really helping at all.

"I...I guess your right"  She stammered, finally putting her phone away and staring down at the floor. She was just like me, being made to go from therapist to therapist and from one place to another, leaving the next week, thinking no one understands or thinks your different from everyone else and acts around you like your a monster just because you have that disease you cant help you have, wanting to end your life so bad, thinking that you just want to die, but in reality...you just want to be saved by that one person you need most who understands you and wants to help you, because they've been through what you have. "B...But how do you know about all this, you probably know shit about me, every other person does, they think they know everything about what im going through, they haven't been through it..."  Lia replied, stopping on not knowing what to say next, probably thinking what I'm going to do next, just as she said, others learning about it and not been through it.