Never Let Me Go (Niall Horan)

Chapter 5 - Going back In time...

"Everyone, at some point in their lives wakes up in the middle of the night with the feeling that they are all alone in the world, that nobody loves them now and nobody will ever love them in the future. That they will never have a decent night sleep again and will spend their lives wandering blearily around a loveless landscape hoping desperately that their circumstances will improve but suspecting in their heart of hearts that they will remain unloved forever. The best thing to do in these circumstances is to wake somebody else up so that they can feel this way too" - Lemony Snicket

********

I has slept over at Niall's after our long night chat, I couldn't just go back to that rotten carehome. Waking up slowly, the sunlight outside peaked through the curtains and bounced from wall to wall in the bedroom. 

"Morning" Niall whispered making me smile and kiss his lips as I got up from the bed, suddenly being pulled back into his arms.

"And where do you think you're going Miss Millers" Niall again whispered in my ear, sending shivers down my body and making me giggle.

"I'm hungry" I lied but laughed at the same time as Niall was about to tickle me.

"Don't you dare tickle me ok"

"Big piggy went to the market, middle piggy..."

I managed to wriggle out of his arms before he could actually tickle me and ran to the bathroom and locked the door.

"Katy, Come out, we need to talk"

"NO, you're just going to tickle me"

"I won't I swear on me mothers life"

I know what the talk was going to be about, it was a recurring nightmare of the unhealthy and disastrous relationship I was in, every night, screaming and waking up sweating and heart beating too fast to be healthy.

I carefully unlocked the door as I breathed in and out, I didn't really know how to explain what happened, how can you say to someone who you care about so dearly about how bad you were treated, and them being broken hearted, but saying the truth is better than saying a lie and make them think that there's nothing to worry about...making them feel guilty in the future.

"What was in your nightmare that made you scream" Niall asked me as we both sat down next to each other.

"Do I have to tell you"

"Well do you trust me"

"Yes"

"Well then..."

"Fine" 

"I was about 14 when it happened, I had this 'boyfriend' called Kyle. When we got together, he was such a gentleman and I thought he wouldn't hurt anyone, not even a fly, let alone me. He bought me gifts and brought me out to parks to be alone, I thought we were going to be together forever, but as we grew closer and closer together, we got more touchy feely and for some strange reason, we decided to move in together, well by saying we, I mean him, he was so into it, apparently his father could find us a place to stay, it was outside of London, just a few miles out from my house. He told me we needed to move out and make a new life."

I started to get tears in my eyes, but I tried to fight them back, as for Niall he was listening to me carefully, like he was going to try and do better for me, but he hadn't heard all the story yet, not even half. 

"He made me leave school and make me stay at home. Cleaning, cooking and making sure nothing was out of place. But it started to get worse, if something was out of place, he'd punish me, by burning my side with his cigarette, putting my hand under boiling water or letting me not eat that night. I couldn't tell anyone about it, not even my mum, she thought I was going to school and earning some money with a job, but I was at home scrubbing the floor and cooking his dinner. He had to have his dinner just as he walked through the door, on the table, in front of him and hot, but not too hot. One day, he came home early and I hadn't even cooked anything, he said something about going to the pub after work,

"Babe, why isn't there anything on the table"

"I thought you were going to the pub Kyle, I didn't know you were gonna be back at 2pm"

"well, I'm here now aren't I"

"I guess you are"

"THEN WHY HAVEN'T YOU COOKED ME ANYTHING, I EXPECTED MY DINNER ON THE TABLE, SO WHERE IS IT???" 

"I haven't cooked it yet"

"WHY"

"Because you came home early"

"I TOLD YOU THIS MORNING BITCH I WAS COMING HOME AT 2PM, WHEN DID I EVER SAY I WAS GOING TO THE PUB"

"THIS MORNING"

"DON'T TALK BACK TO ME, YOU KNOW NOT TO TALK BACK TO ME, WHY ARE YOU LYING"

As he said that, he was pulling my hair and dragging me to the bedroom, he slapped me across the face and was about to take my top off, but I couldn't let him rape me again, as I was already pregnant with Aiva...

"I'm pregnant" 

"What?" 

As he let go I ran so fast. Down the stairs, along the hallway and out the door, I could hear Kyle shouting for me but I had to run to my mum, I needed to be with her and not that monster"

"KATY, COME BACK RIGHT NOW"

"I couldn't go back, so I rang the police, I ran into a park and hid by a tree, the same tree I always think about, making me safe and that's all my nightmare, recurring every night and me screaming"

Niall's P.O.V

I didn't know how I felt listening to that story, I wanted to cry with Katy but I had to stay strong for her. She was everything to me and although we've only known each other less then 3 months, we've been through a lot, I just wanted to take care of her but more than that, she was delicate but also fearless. But she was in my arms crying of her past of how she was bullied, harming herself and her abusive ex, I was the best she could have, the one who could help her take away the pain, of course I would never let her go, I've never known a girl like her, she was fearless but also in the inside falling apart.

But I had to be aware of those mocking her, who dragged Katy's skeletons out of the closet, people who talked down to her and ripped her to shreds. People who would hurt her and reopen old wounds...people causing her to have a relapse.

Thats why I needed to break and climb her walls, see what she was really like, see what makes her break or helps her recover.

She thinks in her mind that everyone leaves and gives up on her, but that's not the case for me, I needed to help her change that, but I'm not here to change the scenery, I need to change the situation.

And there she was, just like that. From a hundred miles an hour to asleep in a nanosecond. I wanted so badly to lie down next to her on the couch, to wrap my arms around her and sleep. Not fuck, like in those movies. Not even have sex. Just sleep together, in the most innocent sense of the phase. But I wanted her to be on her own while she slept, make her think, I knew her too well. So I walked back to my room and collapsed on the bed, thinking that if people were rain, I was drizzle and she was a hurricane...