Never Let Me Go (Niall Horan)

Chapter 26 - freeze frame...

Chapter 26 - Freeze frame...

Ever wish you could freeze frame a moment in your day and look at it and say "This is not my life".

Maybe it's because it's late at night, or early in the morning, I don't know which one. Maybe it's because I wish I had someone else's sweatshirt to wear. Maybe Its because there are so many songs in the world and I am sad because I will never be able to hear them all. Maybe it's because everything is covered in snow and for some reason, snow makes things quiet. Maybe it's because I want to cry because I will never be able to fix everything that so desperately needs repair. Maybe it's because I, myself, am so far beyond repair. Maybe because i'm always feeling trapped. But whatever it is that's making me want to live has settled inside of me and it won't calm down till my hands are in the air and i'm running, running nowhere and everywhere as fast as I can. I just want to run, to live. Maybe it's the greying hope for the future. Maybe it's the teenage angst, the desire to get away. Or maybe, just maybe, it's because i'm destined for something more than this.

But you never know when you are going to be at that point where you really feel it's better to die than to go on living, hitting rock bottom, and once you hit bottom, there's really no place else but to try  and go back up to where your life can be happy and fulfilling and listen to your heart rather than your  head, those voices fading and never picking at your every last detail...

But what if I don't want to listen to my head or heart? where will I go from there?

*******

"I live in a world of fantasy so keep your reality away from me. I see what I want, I want what I see and that is all okay by me." 

*******

"You know I wont let anything happen to you" Niall whispered as he rocked me in his arms.

"But i'm scared Niall" I replied as I looked around the room and into his protective eyes boring into me.

"But what if gets any of you, what if he get's Aoifa..."

"No if's or but's ok, he has me and about 20 other bodyguards to get through to you, I promised to myself that I will protect you and Aoifa even if I'm nearly dying and that's what I'm going to do" Niall said as he looked me in the eyes with promise and compassion as he said mine and Aoifa's name, holding onto his word.

"You really promised that?"

"On my life" He replied with a grin and his eyes shining with happiness.

A year ago, I would've never pictured my life the way it is now. Promises are promises, they mean everything to that one person who's been let down all those times, but after they are broken, that 'sorry' means nothing. But its different when you see it as a genuine emotion out of someone you truly love and care for.

"Hey, don't be like that, You are the strongest person I have ever known and loved. You can be strong, I know you can." Niall whispered against my ear before getting up from the couch and walking to the kitchen.

I can be strong for him, and I try to be strong for him, as well as Aoifa but sometimes you go back to the beginning where you were the worst, not the person you are but the person you despise of, despise because of what happens, going crazy and thinking the world is against you when its not. if the world is against me then why is Niall still here? he's here because he's keeping me sane and he loves me, to in love to let me go...

They say 'opposites attract' but I think people like us fall in love with people like us. We fall in love with ourselves. I think it takes more than just anyone to be with one of us. We see the deeper parts of people. We long for their souls, for their backbone, their spine, inhaling the words they breath. We see more in people because of what we know ourselves. I think we fall in love with people like us, people with beautiful words and thoughts and glances at strangers and artistry. We cant just wake up in the morning and go to work. We want to lie in bed, count the freckles on our shoulders, how many times a rain drop hits the window. We breath differently. We strive off of beauty, that's why we cant just settle for anyone who's different. There's got to be a person we find beauty in, who thinks and feels and wonders as remarkable as we sometimes do. I think we fall into people who are a lot like us because they understand, appreciate, relate and know the way we experience and feel and I think that important. 

They say opposites attract, like magnets, they're pulled from different places, ending up together. But we don't need opposites, or magnetic force. We're on the same side, north or south, we don't need to be pulled together...we're already there.

Were all just dreamers in the real world, having our own world to discover in our dreams, fighting, loving and hatred...

"Here, eat this, you haven't eaten yet" Niall said as he put a sandwich next to me on the sofa as I held my legs in my arms just staring into nowhere

 "I'm not hungry" I sighed as I glanced at Niall's worried eyes from above me.

"Please don't be like this Katy, I don't want you to worry so much" Niall whispered as he positioned himself next to me on the sofa and pulling me in for a hug.

"What if I do Niall, its easier said than done"

"Yeah well, I'm going to help you, whether you hit rock bottom or not, but i'll never leave you and you know that ok."

"You telling me to eat the sandwich aren't you" I softly replied as he grinned and passed me the plate.

"Cheese and Ham your favourite"

"Thankyou Niall"

What really gets me is Niall’s not one of those guys who knows how to deal with girls being sad and all that, so instead of him comforting me and talking everything out with me, he tries his best to make me laugh and get those thoughts out of my head, so he’d do his best voice impressions and be so proud when he’d see me laugh and then he’d cuddle with me, just hoping that i'm not feeling bad anymore because that makes him feel bad as well.

And thats always being stuck in my mind, everyones different and everyone should be, but Niall has problems of his own, maybe I should or shouldn't know about but i'm always the one who needs caring for and I hate that, I hate being seen fragile, however i'm not, I try to stay strong, but I guess some always expect me to break down in front of them....

 **************

I'm very sorry for a really long update since last year....but I finished all my exams I had this month....YAYYYYYYY

failed on every single one...oh dear

I rewrote the whole story to make it less cheesier than it was because I was young and foolish last year with the Carrots and Kevin and I had no life 

So I would reread th story tbh...chapter 1 is in the external link or if your using your phone and all the story's got deleted *Cough* Monica *Cough* then the code is 5151058.

and I got a new story called Secrets in London so if you want to check that out and vote/ comment that would be great :) xo

oh and there's 7,000 reads + thankyou so much :D

-Lauren xo