Never Let Me Go (Niall Horan)

Chapter 6 - Heartbreak and loss...

I have the deepest affection for intellectual conversations. The ability to just sit and talk. About love, about life, about anything, about everything. To sit under the moon with all the time in the world, the full-speed train that is our lives slowing to a crawl. Bound by no obligations, barred by no human limitations. To speak without regret or fear of consequence. To talk for hours and about what's really important in life. But I constantly wonder how my life actually looks in other people's eyes. Do they think I have it easy? Do they think I have nothing going on for myself? Or are they fascinated with who I am? The thing is, no one will ever know my whole story. No one will ever know the things I've had to overcome - Not even my closest friends, not even my own family. The thing is that people are so quick to judge nowadays. You only see a person from what they want and allow you to see. I always try to look as put together as I can, and I guess that's my way of hiding the truth. It's just that way everyone will assume that everything in my life is okay. That I never go through anything. If only everyone knew how broken I am and how I'm holding on for dear life on this one last strand that's recently became very delicate. The truth is that no one really knows me. No one will ever know the real me, and that sometimes scares me, because no one will ever know why I am the way I am.

However, it's physically hard to open your mouth and make the words come out for them to try and know you. They don't come out smooth and in conjunction with your brain the way normal people's words do; they come out in chunks as if from a crushed-ice dispenser; you stumble on them as they gather behind your lower lip. So you just keep quiet...

"Stop thinking" Niall said as he lay next to me tucked away in the covers.

"What" 

"Just because I'm asleep, doesn't mean I don't know what's going on"

"But you were asleep though" I said, looking at his sleeping figure next to me.

"Again, doesn't mean that I know you're thinking too much" 

"Oh shut up, I'm hungry, do you want breakfast" I asked, kissing his lips and greeting the freezing cold room that was our bedroom.

"Just a coffee" he said, smiling and nodding off to sleep again, making me stare in awe at how cute he was sleeping and how much he knows me.

Suddenly, as I turned around, I saw a man smiling in front of me, he had a gun right by my stomach "If you dare scream or fight I will shoot you, just follow my instructions and you will be in no harm", the man whispered in my ear, making a shiver go down my spine, tears threatening to spill from my eyes.

I nodded back to him, I couldn't scream, I didn't want to put Niall in danger. All I was thinking was if Niall would just wake up at this very moment, but it didn't happen and I was guided out of the apartment and down the hall way, being directed to a white van and thrown in the back.

"Is this about Kyle?" I trembled as I crawled to the back corner of the van.

"So you still remember me then?" a familiar voice came from the front passengers seat.

I turned around and saw him, he was smiling like he was achieving something, my heart sank and I couldn't stand the sight of him. All I wanted was Niall, he probably thought I making his coffee and took longer than he thought. 

Throughout the journey in that van I sat in a corner and just expected the worse, to only be directed into a damp, wet, stinky room that looked like one of my nightmares.

"What are you going to do with me" I said to Kyle who was standing at the door.

"What I was meant to do before you ran away" He said, getting closer to me

"Well sorry if I didn't want that horrible disgusting life anymore, I was glad I ran away from you" I sneered, making him cup my face with his hands, making me smell his alcoholic druggie breath.

"Well, now you're here and you can't do anything about it, not even your precious little Niall Horan can help you. You're trapped now and you can't run away like you did, you're just a fame whore, thinking Niall loves you and wants to be with you, it's a lie darlin', he wants you out, out of his life, just that kind of a summer love, but he didn't even love you, you..."

"SHUT UP" I screamed in his face, making him hold me tighter by my neck as he pinned me against the wall.

"He isn't like you, he's sweet, caring, funny and he does love me, you don't even know what those things are, you just beat me and told me I was worthless, I wanted to leave you so bad, and that pregnancy I told you about, the baby died from being premature, that was you're fault for raping and beating me. You are the most evil disgusting man I've ever come across, yet to even think I loved you makes me want to throw up" I shouted and screamed at him, I kept hitting him from what he did to me in the past, it felt good but I felt guilty from what I had said, not knowing what he was about to do to me.

"You are going to clean, make me dinner and be a fucking girlfriend that you were meant to be, all day everyday, you are going to obey me and these fucking rules, YOU HEAR ME!"

I nodded from the tears that were falling down my eyes.