Never Let Me Go (Niall Horan)

Chapter 31 - shocks and misunderstandings...

Chapter 31 - shocks and misunderstandings...

I was always afraid of the dark. Afraid of the creatures that lurk within, afraid of the unknown. But also afraid of the faint outlines produced by the brave flicks of lights that shone through. They only meant well but they scared me more than the darkness. Life feels like that too, I'm afraid of dark, the evil thoughts that lurk in my mind. So I try to find light, in people, in music, in art, in the future, in anything possible, but they scare me. They scare me more than the darkness, and just like in the night I begin to hope I will be swallowed by the darkness.

Maybe I never wanted to remember and think when it was Niall's day to leave to go on his tour. I just never wanted to believe it I wanted him all to myself, cuddle me and say everything was going to be alright. I keep over thinking this, but I've come to realise that not everyone's partners, fathers, kids or friends might not come back to their family's and homes, not really realising it, that someones day is today and it might be one of their closest and loving person such as their husband or father.

However, the struggles people face now are what makes them a stronger person in the future, which may come in handy in a few seconds, a few minutes, days, weeks, months or even years. Because the strongest people are not those who show strength in front of us but those who win battles we know nothing about.

"You're leaving in 3 days..."I said, looking around at him as we sorted and packed his suitcase. I felt my mood drop at this thought, It was right in front of my mind, I just refused to believe it. He gestured me over with a hand wave as I got off the floor and sat next to him on the bed, folding my legs.

"You know I'll only be a phone call away..." He paused and looked at me, then lying back against the pillows. His arm found its way around my stomach as I then found myself laying against his side. The closeness felt comforting and the worry of him leaving was draining away.

"Will you miss me?" He asked, playing with the ends of my hair whilst lightly stroking my arm, soothing me.

"Yeah, of course I will." I reassured tipping my head to look at him grinning. "Why?"

"No questions.."

"But you just asked me one..."

"Yes but that was an important one." He smirked

"Okay, yes I will miss you like hell..." I smiled, drawing circles with my finger on his stomach.

"And I will miss you so much to, when you are off for a week or two, you need to tell me and I will get you the first flight over for you and Aoifa-"

When I'm with Niall, I've found myself act differently, but in a good way. I tend to smile more and laugh more. I don't have to pretend that everything is okay when it's really not because with Niall, I can drop the fake smile and put on a real one. He shows me that he really does care, and he's just not pretending. I will always appreciate the company, even when I'm at my worst, because with Niall, I'm different, I'm happy...

In French, you don't really say "I miss you." You say "tu me manques," which is closer to "you are missing from me."

I love that. "You are missing from me." You are a part of me, you are essential to my being. You are like a limb, or an organ, or blood. I cannot function without you.

And its true, I can't function without Niall.

"But will you miss me though..." I asked, looking up at him as he played with my hair and tipped his head to rest onto mine.

"You know I will" He cheekily smiled as he brought me closer to him, making me snuggle in him.

I couldn't help stare at his smiling lips because to be honest they were perfect, they were always pink and addictive to stare at and to kiss. They were soft and and tender. kisses so firm and passionate, longing and needy, the kiss would pulse through my body, giving me butterflies in the pit of my stomach. 

But I'm not always fascinated by people who smile all the time. What I find interesting is the way people look when they are lost in thought, when their face becomes angry or serious, when they bite their lip, the way they glance, the way they look down when they walk, when they are alone, when they smirk, the way they half smile, the way they try and hold back tears, the way when their face says they want to say something but cant, the way they look at someone they want or love

It's beautiful

"You seem sad.."

"No, I'm just thinking"

"You know I was going to have to go away again sometime or another..."  He reminded me, thought sounding in his voice, but I did know, and I realised that this is his job, that he loved so much. his childhood dream.

"I had it in my mind..."

"At the back" I sighed at this, blinking up at him and realizing that this is reality, I only have less than 3 days with him properly and I had to make the most of it.

"Not right now though"

"What?" he questioned, looking down at me with an eyebrow arched up confused

"You're not gone yet are you..."

He looked at me for a second before his lips smirked and he finally catched on. "Nope" He smirked, propping himself up on one elbow beside me and reaching down towards my hair around my shoulders. I wasn't quite sure what we'd do after these 3 days had gone. Back to phone calls and Skype.

Suddenly, Niall went on top of me and laughed, hugging me tight as we rolled across the bed, sheets, upon sheets falling to the floor below which were information about the tour.

"I love you so fucking much" He whispered in my ear as we held onto each other as tight as we could, like superglue.

When you hug the person you love, you get that warm fuzzy feeling. You feel so many emotions at once: love, comfort, security, warmth and excitement. It feels as if everything in the world is just right. And you don't want the hug to end and so you hug the person even tighter.

Because right now, him leaving here, felt like the end of the world to me.

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Hi there

I'm sorry about the infrequent updates I'm just slow at writing at this and sometimes I just cant be bothered

12 days till I get my GCSE results. FAILING HERE I COME

please vote thanks mates

but until the next update. adios

- Lauren