Inevitable Love & Revenge

Chapter 12- Numb

Celeste P.O.V.

My chest felt heavy like someone put a ton of bricks on it and I can't move them off. I killed someone tonight. I can't go back and change it. I murdered someone and I still had the gun in my hands. I didn't realize I was crying until I felt something wet hit my hands on my lap.

"Celeste, I know you're feeling guilty for killing that man back there but it was self defense. He was trying to kill both of us. There's nothing we can do about it." I turned my head to look at him.

The three guys from the house was standing outside his car door watching me with sad faces. I nodded my head and handed him the gun. I opened my door and grabbed my bag off the car floor. I gently closed the door and looked at all of them.

"I'm going to stay at a hotel. If you don't feel comfortable with me being there alone you can send two of your men to guard my room door but I want to be alone. I need to be alone. Okay." I looked him in the eyes and waited for his response. He looked like he was fighting his self inside but in the end he said, "Ok." Daniel and Kevin went with me in a Uber to the hotel that Sapphire loves to have brunch at and I got a room there.

It was a suite and I paid cash so that my card isn't traced. I got to my room and ordered pasta for dinner and a bottle of wine. I ate and drank the whole bottle to myself while soaking in a bubble bath. Bubble baths used to make me feel better as a kid and still do but it wasn't working as good as it used to tonight. So many emotions were flooding my mind and heart. Anger for being lied to all my life. Pain from the truth of my moms death and my father hiding all my life. Rejection from seeing Luke kiss another woman as if what he did with me and how he treated me meant nothing. He still didn't address it when I brought it up. He just continued to try and get me in the car like I wasn't worthy of an explanation. Then, the guilt of killing someone tonight. Yes, he was trying to kill me but he was still a human being just like me. He might have family or kids and I just took him away from all of that.

In the end, I'm alone with all these fucked up feelings. I got out the bath and wrapped myself up in a robe after drying off. I looked in the mirror and all the memories, violence, and emotions hit me. I can't make them stop. My body started trembling again. How do I stop them? I grabbed my head and shook it getting angry. Make them stop!

I grabbed the telephone in the room and yanked it off the wire as I threw it. I was screaming as I grabbed the empty bottle and threw it at a wall. Knocked over some glasses and grabbed a chair swinging it at the TV. Kevin and Daniel was banging on my door trying to open it but I put the crossbar on it.

"Celeste open the door!" Kevin yelled.

"You don't have to go through this alone! Just let us in!" Daniel added.

I kept breaking shit. It made me feel better being able to release some emotion. Any emotion. An right now anger is what I'm releasing. I walked over to the lamp stepping on glass and feeling the pain. Yes. I feel so much damn pain. I grabbed the lamp as I heard one of them kicking my door and threw it. I felt the tears coming down my face from the pain but I didn't care anymore. I heard Kevin on the phone yelling that I snapped and was destroying the room and might hurt myself in the process. Why did he have to call him? I know who he's talking to and that pissed me off even more! I punched the wall next to me over and over again until my knuckles were bleeding. While I was punching Daniel broke the door down and ran to me wrapping his arms around my waist.

I started screaming and kicking trying to get out of his hold. "LET ME GO! LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE! NO!" I was yelling and screaming so much my voice kept cracking.

Kevin pulled a needle out of his pocket and was walking towards me. No. He's not going to put whatever that is inside of me is he? I started kicking again yelling no at him and to stop but he didn't listen. He grabbed my arm and was injecting the liquid into my body. I was still saying no but my body became heavy and tired. My speech was slurred and I couldn't keep my eyes open. He drugged me. That son of a bitch. The last thing I heard was him apologizing to me and then I blacked out.

When I woke up I was tied down to the bed by my wrists and ankles. My body still felt heavy but I was awake and looking around. I was still in my hotel room and in my robe but it was cleaned up as if what I did never happened. Luke was sitting in a chair at the foot of the bed watching me. My feet were wrapped up in bandages. I tried to yank my hands free but they were tied tight.

"You asked me to let you stay alone and when I let you, you go and fuck up the place. You hurt yourself and wake up damn near the whole floor. Your hands are bruised and your feet are cut up. I knew I should've taken you home." He talked as if he was talking to his self.

"Untie me." It's all I said to him because I have nothing else to say. Looking at him brought back the anger and hurt and I didn't want to see his face again.

"No. You're going to stay in bed and he-

"Unfucking tie me Luke!" I cut him off. Anger heard in my voice and on my face. He looked at me like he was hurt. I started laughing.

"What's funny?" He asked.

"You. You're looking at me like I hurt you when it's the other way around. You hurt me. You flirted, lead me on, kissed me, and was my hero with finding out everything. You even treated me so well for the last two weeks. I believed you was a good man underneath the traumas and past pain you've been through but no. Oh no, you're still horrible. You're not capable of love and happiness. I should've listened to you and just accepted the help as nothing but a job. I let my emotions get the best of me and you hurt me like we both knew you would. I was just in denial about it." He looked at me with a straight face and nodded his head agreeing with me.

"I did hurt you. I feel bad about it because you don't deserve it especially after all you've been through. However, I never tried to be what you wanted me to be. I was just showing kindness because you were in pain. We both got drunk in the club. Kissing you shouldn't have happened and I'll accept the consequences of that which is the hurt you're going through but I never once said I'd be the good guy. So don't go pointing all the blame at me. Point some at yourself for making assumptions and fantasizing about what you wanted me to be for you." He spoke every word while looking into my eyes.

It sounded mechanical and with no emotion. It was a slap in the face without being physical and what he said made sense. I was assuming he was good from him just trying to be kind while I was suffering inside. I looked away with tears threatening to fall. He shook his head and sighed heavy.

"Are you hungry or thirsty?" He asked.

I shook my head no.

"If I untie you will you behave and not do what you did again?"

I nodded and he untied me. I got up to pull the covers back and got under them. I closed my eyes and the tears fell down my face. He brushed them off with the back of his hand and that act alone made my heart ache. He can't do that and expect me not to feel anything. I turned to the other side, away from his hands. He got up and cut the light off. I heard him walk to the door and leave. I'm sure he has a key to my room if he just left me alone like that. I sighed and broke down crying again. I cried until I felt like I couldn't cry any more and fell asleep.