Harsh

♡ vingt-neuf ♡

It was impossible to sleep soundly in the hospital despite their door being closed. They could still hear all of the sounds around them, Troye's IV would beep when it was out fluids, and so eventually the nurse just unhooked Troye from it and took out his catheter. However, it meant Troye had to get up several times during the remainder of the night to hobble to the bathroom.

Jacob followed along each time, quietly as if he were just Troye's shadow, and stood close by while Troye relieved himself. It wasn't like he hadn't been in the bathroom before while Troye peed, and Troye figured the Dom wanted to make sure that he didn't fall. Despite the environmental factors, Troye had trouble sleeping anyway, his brain on overdrive. The pain medicine helped by making him groggy, but it couldn't take the thought of his Fuzzies off his mind. He was constantly wondering how they were, if they were awake, if they were warm enough in their little incubators. Going from having them inside him where he had somewhat of an idea of how they were doing to going to only seeing them for an hour every two hours wasn't working out for him. That, and he felt as emotional as he had in the earlier stages of his pregnancy.

On the bright side, the few things positive in his life, he had his baby girl and his baby boy, and he was officially Troye Bixenman. Just thinking about it made his heart feel like it was so big it could burst. Around 6am Troye couldn't sleep anymore, but the nurse said he'd have to wait a bit to see his babies as 6am was when all of their little vitals were checked. So instead, he ate breakfast and then the nurse brought him a pump to try out. "I just... put these here?" Troye asked, flushing red as he held the two pumps up to each pec. "At first, yes," she explained. "If one pectoral is slightly fuller than the other, even though it might be uncomfortable, you'll want to use the other to try and even them out.

Too much use will cause greater milk production. So you'll alternate depending on how much production you have, like switching back and forth as if you were nursing your actual baby." Troye's face fell a little, and the nurse seemed to feel guilty for a few moments before she continued. "I don't think you'll have too much of a problem. You're only just now starting. It's good to practice a little bit before you actually start nursing anyway, and this will be very good for your little babies when they're off their ventilators." It was a bit embarrassing with the nurse in the room still, and even though Troye didn't know what he was doing, he wanted her to leave.

She did eventually, leaving him with the weird pumps. They were pretty uncomfortable, and the lack of milk he was pumping was extremely frustrating. Like the nurse said, he could only fill up a tiny bit of the bottom of the bottles. Jacob was fairly encouraging, however, simply moving the surprisingly heavy pump since Troye wasn't supposed to lift much. "She said it would take a bit for you to really start producing," the Dom reminded. "I think you're doing very well." Around 7:30am Troye was sitting on the edge of his bed with a pillow clutched to his abdomen.

"I'll just walk, I don't want to have to wait for a nurse to bring me a wheelchair," Troye said decidedly. "No, pet," Jacob disagreed. "Even if you can make it there you'd have to stand as we visit our babies." "It's going to take forever," Troye whimpered. Jacob pressed the nurse's call button anyway, "You need a wheelchair. We'll see our babies soon and I'll try to talk the nurses into letting us stay longer than usual."

The younger boy twiddled his thumbs anxiously, his heart thudding painfully in his chest. He was more than ready to fawn over his little babies, ready to stroke their tiny heads and feel their fragile hands in his own. Their little limbs had been curled up close to them when he had visited them twice the night before, making them look even smaller, and he hadn't been able to get one of them to grip onto his finger. But like the nurse had said, they had only just been born and they were sleepy little babies. Troye himself was still exhausted, but he couldn't sleep any longer with the thought of seeing his babies pressing at all areas of his mind. "Sir, do you think they were okay without us through the night?" Troye asked anxiously. The older boy stood beside Troye, smoothing his messy hair back, "They probably think that it's much too loud and far too bright, but I think they were okay during the night. I'm sure they missed your voice and heartbeat."