Vampire Knight: Awakening

Chapter 23: Try to fix it

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Voices echoed from a light blue screen, news and channel number flashing at the right corner. The room was dark, windows drawn shut as the being inside locked everything away.

None of the words or news coming from the small screen even registered to the man, his lavenders blankly staring up. He felt numb, dizzy.

Wrist twisting, a swish was heard coming from a half-drunk bottle before the man tipped it to his mouth downing the rest and tossing it aside, hearing it clatter with the many others.

How many had he drunk? He had not been to work since, or outside of his room. His throat still felt parched, but he refused to acknowledge it. Not like the hunger would drive him mad anymore. He was a higher class now, after all.

Gaze finally shifting, he saw brown hairs and eyes, a voided look to the owner. He looked dead, like always, that fake smile plaster on his face, as always... It was as if nothing had changed. They picked up right where they left off.

A noble and a no-good level E.

Even though he wasn't that anymore, it was not like anyone really acted as if he truly changed. They just had to respect him because he forced them to. But now it was pointless.

He still had the Hunters... but how could he lead them in his state?

Biting his lip the vampire groaned. Tossing his weight up he regretted it immediately as the world began to spin. How he hated, yet loved the fact that he could still get drunk. At least somewhat numb this pain.

It hurt too much to think, to talk... To see anyone. The first day after it happened. He brought Kaname before the night class. They all were furious and confused. As well as Draco... But Zero brushed it off. He wore a mask and fooled them all, leaving as quickly as he could before he fell apart.

Since then. He was just avoiding them. The alcohol didn't come until his 4th nightmare. Reliving that bite over and over again, seeing cold eyes glare as a gun was put to his chest, the trigger pulled and the words "pathetic," whispered out.

The ancient blood never said it... Yet Zero kept on reliving it day after day, nightmare after nightmare. he was 3 days in, drinking away everything. It had been about a week since the "break-up".

Hobbling to the counter, he grabbed another and stared at it... The gross amber liquid. As he held it in hand, his stomach twisted and a growl escaped. Everything blacked out as a scream escaped him and he tossed it across, eyes drenched red as it crashed against the opposite wall spilling on his drawers.

The pain was still here even after all the bottles. Sleep was impossible, outside to the real world was impossible. Everything was just fucked up as it always was and he still didn't understand why he was able to take it. Why was it after every time someone broke him, he never turned to pull the trigger on himself?

It would be so easy. All he had to do was grab toga's gun, fit it in his mouth and pull. It would end in seconds. But he couldn't. His will to live and his pride still kept him from ending himself, and he could not just choose a random vampire to do it... Only one in this world could actually kill him.

"If only he would do what he keeps doing... In my dreams." He laughed hollowly to himself, falling to his knees. Zero didn't allow himself to lay as, when he laid, he slept. He didn't want to sleep. He didn't want to see him. But that was all he ever saw.

When in the shower, he remembered his presence, wandering playful hands. When in bed, he remembered his heat, their feet laced every night. When in his closet, he remembered their silly fight. Over the stupid dressing party. On the couch, he remembered their first time coming close. When he first bit the human form.