his forgotten mate

CHAPTER 22

A/N: Not Edited.

Chapter 22 Chris POV

I was lost in my thoughts, hoping that holding Michelle, even Kayla wasn’t a one off, which was quickly overtaken by thoughts of not wanting to share any details about my children with the Elders or with my family and ex-pack. I didn’t want their pity and I didn’t want them all to know that they had been suffering years of abuse.

I sighed, torn between exactly what I wanted done, telling everyone of the abuse and Adina getting what she deserves or keeping quiet, respecting that my children deserve to live without a whole pack knowing they were abused for years. Having that follow them their whole lives, seemed cruel.

I glanced at Logan from the corner of my eyes as he held files and his laptop right on his lap, pensively thrumming his fingers on them.

“What?”

“You haven’t left your pack, if you join mine the Elders can’t read your mind,” he replies which isn’t what I expected him to say.

 “What?” I asked in confusion.

“Jax… a company… or group of people and the Elders don’t know about this?”

“You think Rainy was onto something?” not sure why I even bother because the way alone she said the words rocked me.

“That guy didn’t think she’d get out… I just need to get stills of every guy that has ever been to that house and have her watch them-”

“Absolutely not!” I objected, “Are you insane? Do you know what that could do to her? Showing her those photo’s until she picks the right one?” I said appalled at his blasé attitude.

“Do you know what it would do it her if eventually she finds out that this ‘Jax’ place isn’t just a few men preying on women and children, but women and children that are locked up just like her and the kids were?” Logan sneered at me, his tone filled with disbelief. “You’re angry, furious as I am that Adina knew the man that had your mate and children but said nothing, how do you feel those other people missing family will feel?” he turned this around, showing me all sides and I hated it.

“I don’t like it,” I muttered.

“You think I do? You think it’s easy for me to make her imagine… give me details about those bastards that hurt her? It’s not… you think it’s easy Chris?” he spat angrily, shuddering a breath.

“I’m not – I wouldn’t have her going through the different pictures… I’m just going to ask her what she remembers about him, for some reason when she thought about him, she wasn’t thinking of his face so I can’t match him that way,” he murmured painfully and I regret the insinuation that this was easy for him. He wants to help others, like he did his sister… the ones that people forget about, or can’t seek out help the normal way.  

Trying to think of something else, I decide to talk to him now, “Logan, I’m thankful that you didn’t give up on Rainy, but I didn’t either. I know you hold a lot of anger against me, but I’ve been saving lives too. I didn’t just live in a hole grieving for your sister, I helped people, I have done good things in the past ten years and I’m not saying they were more important than your sister, but I helped them,” I paused letting that settle.

 “Nonetheless Logan, I didn’t give up on her; I still hoped she was alive… I still thought eventually she would come back to us…” I shook my head, swallowing the lump in my throat.

“And I’ve always said if she could come back to us, to you… she would’ve done it sooner,” Logan adds and I see his point. He could’ve looked past her leaving if only she had come back, but when she didn’t, when he couldn’t reach her he knew that the reasons wasn’t that she couldn’t or wouldn’t, it was a third party. They wouldn’t let her… plus he knew things that I didn’t know; Rainy had shifted.

“They made me forget that she was my mate Logan…” I say stupidly.

He turned to me with watery eyes, “Did they make you forget that you loved her too?” his words wreck me inside, and shame colors my face and in the dull light I’m sure he can see it. I don’t answer, I do the one thing I can think of that would mean anything to him, the one thing I would have done years ago had I known the truth.

Closing my eyes, I concentrate on my pack link, ignoring the fact that now that I am off of his pack-land I can hear them all, reaching out to me. Instead I focus on that one line that keeps me tethered to them, and I break it, groaning and bending over nauseous, as my mouth fills with an awful taste.

I hear Logan instructing the driver to pull over and I hear doors opening, and then the one to my right opening, stumbling, I shift my head out the door pushing Logan away, and then promptly threw up. Groaning as everything that I was realigned itself, my wolf howling in my head at the sudden disturbance but still I felt no anger in my decision from him at all.

“Join mines Chris,” Logan says from where he stands, but I shake my head, regretting that instantly.

“Not until you trust me,” I spit out keeping my head still and my eyes closed, ignoring the acidic smell of my own vomit below me.

 “I don’t need to trust you, Rainy does,” the words cut through the pain in my head, and I couldn’t deny it; gratitude in his words, what they meant and represented, my wolf quieted, purring at the small gift. Had I not been in mental and physical pain, I would’ve chuckled at his readiness to accept Logan’s offer. Not accepting means we are denying mate… refuting her gift… not Logan or even ourselves, but Rainy.

 

I nodded, saying the mantra, easing the pain as I settle into Logan’s Pack, with Rainy, with my children, peace takes over, as I feel the sudden emptiness replaced with his pack, the bonds stronger, that the ones I felt with my old pack and I want to question him, instead I take the water bottle he hands me, rinsing my mouth out, sitting back after I close the door, and I reach out to Rainy as the car continues to my old pack.

Rainy… I call out waiting, my eyes closed head rested back, but still holding my breath.

Chris… she responds after a while and I release the breath I had been holding, ready to deal with my ex-pack, brothers, their mates and Anna; still I couldn’t get back to Rainy and the children soon enough.

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