Out of Blood

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I do not know how long it has been.

Mom and Jessica quickly established a rhythm. I smelled burning flesh. Morgan added a second job as a gopher, getting new things when they needed them from various stainless steel drawers along the wall. More gauze. A different tip for the cauterizer. Smaller clamps. Bigger clamps. Dissolving suture. To me it seemed like half the things on the tray of surgical instruments were wrong for what they wanted, but then that tray had been laid out for birthing babies. Not resecting colons and rebuilding abdomens.

I am getting dizzy. The room has funny black spots. From nowhere I suddenly saw Jessica looking down at me and I smiled wanly "Hi love" I said.

"He can't give anymore." She said to the room

"I'm O positive" said Morgan

Jessica seemed to hesitate. I wondered why. "You sure you want to do this?"

Morgan said flatly "Yes."

"You know...." Jessica trailed off

"I know." Morgan said simply.

They knew what they are talking about. My brain is not working well anymore, so I have no clue.

Morgan's hair is pretty.

Did I say that out loud?

Jessica quit hesitating which is good because I am about to say something stupid like 'hook her the fuck up!'. "Ok. Rachel, help me get Adrian over to that chair. Keep the drip in his arm running wide open."

I am dizzy. Even with my brain low of fluids, I realized it is a measure of how bad Helen really is that they took this much from me. Jessica pushed it to the edge.

I felt the cool as the liquid from the bag flowed into my arm. Wondering if they slipped me a mickey, I blacked out in the chair.

When I came back I heard regular surgery sounds. Beeping. Clatter. Low voices talking about this and that being a mess. I looked over, and saw Morgan on my table, giving Helen blood. A drip running in her arm. Good. I have not been gone long.

I am cold.

That has not happened to me since I jumped into Lake Travis from a plane last winter. I faded out, everything bright-edged, and I started running in and out.

I came back to full reality when I found Rachel moving Morgan next to me, in another chair. We are both tapped out. I looked over at Mom, hooking up Jessica to the transfusion pipes.

I panicked at the sight. Suddenly fully back in my head. "Mom... Don't take much. She's pregnant."

Mom looked over at me, then down at Jessica. "You might have said something." She scolded

"You won't need much. Just finish Helen." Jessica replied.

"Yes dear." Mom said and kissed her on the forehead.

I looked over at Morgan. "How do you feel?"

Morgan rolled her head over onto her shoulder to look at me. "Shitty." She gestured to the IV bag. "Going to need a new one of those soon too."

"Normally they bring you orange juice after giving blood." I pointed out.

Just then, my dad stuck his head in the door, looking around the room. "So this is where everyone is..." he paused, looking from set piece to set piece in the room. Jessica dripping into Helen. Mom working on Helen. Morgan and I a couple of empty kegs sitting on the sidelines. Rachel helping Mom the way Morgan had been. "What the hell?" he asked in honest confusion. Last time he was up here, it had been a cozy little apartment.

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