ch. twenty one

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if you forgot to read the last chapter, you should probably go read it before this one

i'm always here for you

toby and lucas sat downstairs on the couch watching a random movie, as ryland sat on the other couch beside them. the three boys were exhausted from the day in the pool, as shane didn't get in much himself but he still was out there with them. shane, on the other hand, had just got done with his shower, as he looked at himself in the mirror. he was tired, but not tired from the pool. 

"damn it, i need my pills." shane whispered to himself, as he opened the bottom cabinet to see a completely organized medication shelves ready for me. 

shane put all the pills that he needed into his hand, as he then grabbed his water that sat on top of his dresser. opening the lid, and drowing the pills down his throat, shane felt more at ease and was ready to just lay down. he then heard a soft knock at his door, as he rushed to put up his medication and opened his bedroom door, seeing a soft smile on ryland's face. 

"can i come in?" ryland asked softly, as he just tapped his feet against the carpeted floor. 

"uh - yeah, sure why not?" shane spoke, opening the door more for ryland to walk in, as he then shut the door afterwards. "how are the boys downstairs?"

"oh, they're fine. they're watching this movie, i'm sure toby is going to knock out sometime soon, but i highly doubt lucas will let that happen." ryland laughed, as he sat on shane's bed, taking a pillow and putting on his lap. 

"haha, i'm really glad they're friends. hopefully they stay like that for a while." shane smiled, as he sat down next to ryland, as he shoke his head with a towel to dry his wet hair. 

"me too, it'd be nice to have a continuous excuse to come over here and see you." ryland chuckled, as he watched a small smile appear on shane's lips. 

"you wouldn't need an excuse, i like seeing you too ry." shane responded, as he threw the towel into his dirty laundry, before then looking down into ryland's blue eyes. "either way, i'm not here much, so i rather you call me so we can set up a time to hang out. but i don't have your number., so you'll have to give that to me."

"wow, stuttle way to ask for my number...." ryland laughed, as he then grabbed his phone from his pocket and handed it to shane, watching him put his number into his ryland's phone. "hey shane, can i ask you something?"

shane hummed, looking up from ryland's phone, handing it to him and meeting eyes. ryland didn't necessarily know how to bring up the topic, but he did want to know how shane had been without him. being away from someone for more than a decade, even just thinking about it made ryland sad. he missed out on a huge chuck on shane's life, and it saddened him. 

"after all your whole...incident and everything with your mom, where'd you go?" ryland asked politely, as shane's eyes looked away from ryland, as he sighed. 

"my dad, he - he didn't want me to stay in that town anymore. he knew how much that town had hurt me after he left. so, he brought me up to washington to live with him and claire. i went to an academy, and met new friends. ....and i then, i became the top of my class, as i did nothing really but study." shane spoke, summing up his story, cutting out the whole incident with his sickness, as he realized how boring his life was. 

"really, study? you didn't want to go out or anything? i'm sure your friends would have loved hanging out with you." ryland asked in more, as he was now even more curious about shane than before.

how do you tell someone you were hospitalized 24/7 when you were younger? that you couldn't even go to school anymore, and had to go to school through online work and video lessons?  or when you hit high school, and were finally able to step inside a school that you were hit with a case of respiratory failure? how do you tell someone that you're dying right in front of them, faster than you should be?

"it's - how i wanted things to be like." shane lied through his teeth, as he wanted nothing more than to just jump and run with his friends without worrying his lungs will give out. 

ryland looked at shane, but shane wouldn't look back at ryland. ever since they were little, ryland knew that shane was lying when he wouldn't meet eyes with him. shane could never sucessfully lie to ryland. though, ryland just nodded, knowing that when shane was ready, he would tell him. tell him the truth about his life, and why he "wanted" things that way. 

"you know i love you, right?" ryland stated, hearing shane chuckle as he finally looked at him in the eyes. "so, if something is ever bothering you, or you to tell me something. i'm always going to be here for you."

"i love you too, ry." shane smiled, as ryland then grabbed shane and hugged him softly, placing a small little kiss on his forehead. "and yes, i know i can always come to you."

shane sat there, in ryland's arms, as he listened to his heartbeat. he smiled at the sound, the sound of living. ryland's heart only seemed to beat faster as he noticed shane was listening to it. shane looked up to see ryland's face a bit red in his cheeks, as he sat up from him, smiling towards him like a complete dork. 

"what?" ryland blurted out, as his face was still red. 

shane just smiled at the little boy still on his bed, curled up in a ball of embarrassment. tens years away from each other, and yet, here they were telling each other in small manner that they loved one another. was a couple of days, and three times of seeing each other enough to fall in love with another person? 

it sounds crazy, but is there anyone in the world that's completely sane?

____

okay this fucking sucked lmao BUT it'll get better i promise sis

don't sue me

- andy :)

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⏰ Last updated: Jul 08, 2019 ⏰

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