Fighting for Life | ✓

4 | He caught my act

A week passed since I saw that extremely handsome and ripped guy, whose name I still didn't know, in the morning working out at the park for the first time. We arrived at different times but left the same.

We hadn't spoken a word to each other, not a single word. But, the silence was comfortable enough. It wasn't like those times when you are around a stranger doing something, feeling them staring at you, and you feel like you need to say something.

Nope.

We just nodded at each other stared at each other and didn't make a single move. Sometimes we just stared for a long time until one of us decides to go back to the workout. Then there were other times when we went back to our business as soon as we caught each other's eyes.

When I felt him watch me sometimes, I refused to turn and acknowledge it. I watched him doing sets of different exercises, some new I never saw or tried. There were times when I was just a second close to approach him and ask him to teach me. But I couldn't gather enough courage to do so.

He was so confident and so... intense. The way he moves reeks of tons and tons of confidence. It was like he knows who he was, and he knew his importance. And he made people see that wherever he went.

Well, at least to me, he did. He hadn't spoken a word to me, but I could just tell it by the way he moved. It was like he owned the air he breathed, possessed the ground he walked on. And he made that damn clear to everyone around.

I wonder what was his deal. Why did he come? Why in the morning?

In the school, Harvey was showing off in every sport we played in the gym period. But not even picking up a pencil in the other classes. He didn't put the effort in studies. But whenever a teacher caught him not paying attention or sleeping or staring out the window and asked him something we did in the class or related, he answered immediately, without hesitating. And he answered correctly.

It was like it was way too easy for him, and he couldn't bother less. And it was not like he didn't know a thing apart from sports. Harvey was very smart, but he didn't show it off apart from the fact that he was the master of every sport we played in school. 

What did I care, anyway? I didn't. I was not a stalker. I just wanted to learn as much as I could from him from afar. Meaning? I had to keep both my eyes and ears open around him.

So here I was again, observing Harvey's moves as he tried to get past the defense of the opposite team.

We were playing basketball today. The class was split into three teams, two playing and one resting. The loser rests, and the winner plays against the one resting.

And I was in the resting team if that wasn't so obvious. The captain of the three teams tossed and we lost so we got to sit it out.

Believe it or not, Harvey was good at this thing. And I was inclined to observe him in whatever he did and learn without him noticing me.

Harvey's team won. And we played against his team and lost. Barely, but a lost game is a lost game.

"Hey, AJ!" Someone called me. My eyes widened at that because no one bothered to talk to me, so that? That was surprising. Whenever someone did, it was either because they wanted my help with studies or wanted my notes or homework.

I turned around to see Harvey jogging towards me in the parking lot. No, I didn't have a car. I was just crossing by.

"Oh, hey," I chirped, trying to sound as if I am not panicked.

"Why?" He asked

I borrowed my brows together in confusion, "Why what?"

"Why do you hold yourself back in the gym?" He scratched his head, as if not knowing how to ask without sounding rude.

My eyes widened, and my heart started to beat so fast that I was afraid it'll break my ribs and explode.

"What do- I don't- Wha-what do y-you mean?" I stuttered.

Bad. Bad. Bad.

Shit.

I was screwed.

"You know what I mean. You are not giving your hundred percent in the gym. I saw you holding back today, see you every time controlling yourself," He ran his hand through his blonde mess, "Why?"

And there I believed that no one observed me. There I was living under the illusion that no one bothered to notice me, let alone just glance at me because I was so good at being invisible. Guess I was wrong.

I debated what to tell him. I didn't trust him to tell the truth, hell, I hardly even knew him. Or I could just play dumb.

The latter was better.

Or so I thought.

So I put on my brave, confident face and met his eyes, "I don't know why you think that, Harvey. But I am trying my best to work in the gym. Not everyone has skills like you," 

"Oh, you sure know what I am talking about. Do you think I haven't noticed how you don't get tired easily? How today what you were about to score in the game, but at the last moment you flicked your hand slightly just because it wouldn't enter? Do you think I haven't noticed how swiftly you move? Like someone who's been doing sports or something for a very long time. You think I haven't noticed how good you are like a professional, and yet, do those little silly mistakes rookies do?" He snapped at me.

Whoa. Just whoa.

Who the fuck did he think he was talking to me like that?

"Well, Harvey," I started sweetly, but my next words held so much bitterness that even I am shocked, "That is none of your fucking business!"

I didn't wait for him to respond and quickly hurried out of the parking lot running towards my house. Harvey didn't follow.

But I didn't stop until I reached the house. That was just me. I made my lungs burn to keep my head clear. That was pretty fucked up, but that was me.

When I entered my house, I saw my mother and aunt watching TV. Why didn't that surprise me? Because that's what they did all day. Watch TV, and cook and clean.

Sometimes, I had to cook for myself because they simply decided that since I'm a girl, I should learn to cook for myself. They didn't even bother to do anything for me, ever.

Because I'm a girl, and I was supposed to do my tasks by myself. They never entered my room, never did my laundry for me, never praised me for my good behavior, or my grades.

Sometimes, I wondered if they even cared for me. I knew that my family did care for me in their twisted way. But sometimes, I felt so lonely that I needed them to tell me they were here for me, that they loved me.

But they never did.

Never.

* * *

Self love is important. Love yourself.

edited: 18/06/2021