The Birth of Claude

Chapter Four: {Part One}

A few years have passed since William's hospital incident. Sebastian refrained from seeing Ciel any longer. The two only shared classes as teacher and student. William tried to contain his emotions for Grell, but since the night he cried in that hospital room it was impossible to lack emotions around the man. Grell made him far too comfortable. Claude is now a teenager and completely filled with edgy angst. This is his emo phase. 

"He really does look more like you," Sebastian stared at the two. Claude sitting with his legs crossed, adjusting his glasses, reading a book on the couch. William, sitting with his legs crossed, grading papers, also sitting on the couch. They both had the same expression looking up at Sebastian: don't bother me, bitch. 

"I don't know what you mean, Michaelis," William replied, going back to work as usual. 

"Honestly, Dad, you say the strangest things sometimes," Claude turned the page in his book. 

"He even talks like you, William," Sebastian sighed. "You two really are cut from the same cloth," Sebastian shook his head. Are we certain that Sebastian was the father here? Maybe William had a weird affair with his sister. It could've happened. Claude looked and acted more like William in every way. Sebastian wasn't the favorite dad anymore. How rude. There was no semblance of Sebastian anywhere in Claude's physical appearance. Not even his eyes were the same as Sebastian's. 

"If you insist on disturbing me while I'm reading this book for class," Claude sighed, slamming the book closed and placing it on the coffee table in front of him. "Will you at least tell me about my origins? I'm not a child anymore, Dad, and I am curious about my mother." 

"Your mother," William's papers fell from his lap. He sighed, picking them up one by one. This conversation was bound to happen eventually. He just wasn't expecting it tonight of all nights. Was that why he'd been so nostalgic the past few days? Was it to brace him for the inevitable? 

"Well, that kind of came out of nowhere," Sebastian frowned. 

"If you expected me to never ask that was quite naive of you," Claude shook his head and shrugged. 

"It's a bit of a sensitive topic," William placed his papers on the coffee table and turned his attention to Claude. He stared him in the eyes, still expressionless as ever, they both were. "Are you sure you're mentally prepared for this conversation?" he asked. The question was more for himself. It had been years since his sister's death but he'd never mourned properly. 

"Of course. I wouldn't ask if I didn't want to know," Claude folded his hands on his lap. 

William placed his finger on his glasses, pushing them further up on the bridge of his nose. There was a slight glare from the way the light reflected off of the frames. "Your mother was my sister." 

Claude's eyes widened. He clearly hadn't expected that. He didn't know what he was expecting but that wasn't it. Sebastian watched as the fabric of existence Claude had so carefully crafted for himself withered away. This wasn't good. He looked about ready to cry. Something inside him must've known Sebastian and William weren't necessarily married for love. 

"Claude? Are you okay?" Sebastian asked. Claude stared down at his folded hands, avoiding eye contact. 

"This makes so much sense," he laughed, a bit. "I should've known," he laughed a bit more. "You two never acted like lovers. You barely acted like friends. It's no wonder. Father, no, I guess he is my uncle, isn't he? Why should he appreciate anything about you Dad? Were you two together when you slept with my mother? His sister? And you two are still in this awkward relationship? For what? Because of me?" 

"It's no wonder he doesn't love me," Claude took off his glasses and cried into his hands. "I should've expected that. Why would he? I'm just proof of Dad's one night stand."

"Claude," William reached out to comfort him in some way but pulled back his hand. He didn't know what the right thing to do was. "I do care for you." 

"You don't," Claude continued to sob. "You never have!" He jumped up and ran out the door. Sebastian ran after him, unsure of what to do. 

"Claude!" he called, trying his best to catch up. "Claude! Wait!" 

He stopped, looking back at Sebastian, and waited as requested. "It's always you, isn't it? Father will never come running after me. He will never care. But you, every time you look at me you remember your mistake. You're not much better even though our blood relations are closer. Do you even care about me, Dad?" he spat. 

"Claude, I understand that you're feeling a lot of things right now but you shouldn't say these things. William does care about you. He might have a funny way of showing it but he does care," Sebastian sighed. "You're reading too much into this." 

"Don't tell me what to feel!" Claude stomped his foot on the ground. "I know exactly what is going on. You can't lie to me anymore! You two never loved each other. You both have your own secret love lives, don't you? You're playing house with me as the source of all your problems. Well, then, what if I just disappeared for you? Then what? Would you still cling to each other hopelessly like the idiots you are?!" Claude threatened to take a step into the street, as a truck sped by. 

Sebastian reached out and grabbed his arm, pulling him away from the curb. "You foolish boy!" Sebastian held him close, kneeling on the ground resting his face in his chest. He held him closer still. "Please don't do this. Please." He sobbed, unaware of why he was sobbing. Was it the guilt of being found out by his own son? Was it the pain of never being able to fully accept Ciel as true love? Was it the thought that the past years of his life spent raising this kid with as much love as he could muster being thrown out the window? Claude was going down a dark path and there wasn't anything he could do. He clung to him, miserably, trying to make him understand how much he cared. The tears kept coming, his body shook, but Claude wouldn't feel the love of Sebastian. He only wanted one person to love him, William. 

"Dad, I can't breathe," his voice cold, his face even colder, Claude truly was becoming William with every second that passed. 

"Claude..." 

"Let go of me." 

"I can't," Sebastian refused. "I can't let go of you..." What if he did? And something happened? What if he let go, and Claude would never be seen or heard from again? What would this marriage have been for? If Claude was going to end it right now? 

"You must know that Father doesn't love you just as much as he doesn't love me," Claude's words sharp, hitting his heart over and over. He knew that, yes, but he'd always hoped it would change one day. 

Sebastian let his arms fall. He continued to sit on the sidewalk. He watched as Claude turned around and left. "I'm going to a friend's home," he said, without looking back. The pit of Sebastian's stomach churned. 

"Please be safe," he said, not knowing what else to say. Claude didn't respond.