The Birth of Claude

Chapter Two: [Part Five]

"You look awful. Was your student that terrible?" William spoke to Sebastian. He hoped desperately that Sebastian wouldn't smell the obvious scent of a stranger in their apartment. He would rather like to avoid explaining to his husband that he'd had an affair so soon after he'd just had it. Sebastian looked truly awful, this wasn't news he particularly needed to hear right at this moment. William wasn't being honest, but he wasn't being dishonest, so he wasn't going against his code. 

"You don't know the half of it," Sebastian took two steps forward and rested his head on William's shoulder. William didn't understand why this was necessary. "This must be some sort of twisted joke. Is this my karma coming back to bite me?" Sebastian's words struck a chord within William. Karma, now that might be an interesting concept. Perhaps it was simply karma that William had slept with another man, Sebastian had done plenty of terrible things to ruin people's relationships in college. Knowing that, William didn't feel guilty, (not that he had felt guilty, to begin with). 

However, he didn't want to take any chances that Sebastian might observe something out of the ordinary. In order to ensure this, he would have to do something surprisingly out of character to shock Sebastian. What was he complaining to himself about earlier? William not showing any signs of affection? Not caring enough? William didn't know what would make him seem more caring...so he tried a hug. He was so dreadful at hugging people, but that just might shock Sebastian enough to not pay attention to his surroundings. 

"Are you trying to comfort me?" Sebastian asked directly after William had attempted a hug. 

"I'm sorry, it was a mistake," William tried to undo his action. Sebastian returned the hug instead. Now, that was unexpected. William wasn't sure he liked this turn of events. 

"It's not a mistake. It's just a surprise."

"Michaelis, I know I don't say this often, or at all, but I don't despise being with you. I may or may not love you but one thing is for certain; I don't hate you. Not anymore," William explained. He wanted to make sure that when Sebastian found out about Grell, he knew that William didn't hate him. He also wanted to clear up the misunderstanding that William didn't feel anything about Sebastian. That wasn't the truth. He felt something, it just wasn't a strong emotion. It was something more similar to being fond of a pet fish. Now, that wasn't to say Sebastian was a fish, just how little William allowed himself to care for someone like Sebastian. 

When Sebastian didn't reply, he decided to change the subject. "I saved you some dinner," he said. He tried to escape Sebastian's embrace. It was futile. Sebastian just held him closer. 

"I'm sorry," Sebastian whispered. Where was this coming from? What had Sebastian done? William's arms fell to his sides. He was incredibly confused. 

"Why are you apologizing? Shouldn't I be the one sorry here?" he asked. William should be apologizing. He'd just slept with someone, in this very apartment, and hadn't said a word about it. Did Sebastian already know? Was he saying 'sorry' because he hadn't loved William enough? Or, was it something else entirely? William was more in the wrong here than Sebastian. Hell, he was even trying to feed Sebastian food he'd made for Grell. 

 "I'm sorry, you might not understand why I'm sorry right now but I am," Sebastian explained. "I don't want you to feel like you have to force yourself to be more outwardly caring..."

"What nonsense are you speaking? This isn't like you, Michaelis," William replied. He had no idea what Sebastian was talking about. Did he feel bad because William had tried to hug him? Why on earth was that something to apologize for? What was going on inside that brain of his? 

Sebastian released William and went to seek out the plate of food. He ate it so quickly that William began to wonder about Sebastian's activities. Surely tutoring a student didn't take this long. Why was he some so late? There was only one explanation that crossed William's mind...Sebastian had sex. Either with the student or with someone else. William was agitated by this, but not surprised. He didn't have a right to be angry.