The Birth of Claude

Chapter Three: [Part One]

"Why do you wear the wig?" William asked. His curiosity had gotten to him. He'd never thought to ask before, but now that he was sitting inside Grell's apartment (in the same building as his, surprisingly) he found himself wanting to know the answer. 

"Oh, this old thing?" Grell held up the red wig. It looked so natural on his head when he wore it that not many people realized it was fake. It must be made of real dyed hair...that's why it seemed so realistic. William had thought about it for a long time. The reason he never noticed until Grell took it off must've been because he'd never looked at Grell that closely. Now he was, and William wasn't sure why he was paying so much attention to things he hadn't paid attention to before. 

"A while ago, before I knew what I was going to get a degree in...actually I still don't quite know...but anyway, I met this guy in a convenience store. I'd been working there part-time for a while and I'd seen a lot of people walk in but he just looked different, you know? I don't know how else to say it. He was just different. He looked angry, his shirt was partially unbuttoned, and he didn't look like he knew himself what he was there for. He was just there and everyone would have to deal with it."

"What does this man have to do with you?" William asked.

"Well, I was a worker so I had to talk to him. I had to make sure he was finding everything he needed, you know, the usual stuff. When I finally mustered up the courage, I realized that he wasn't angry, it was just how he looked. It made me realize something. There are two sides to every person. I started wearing a wig, changing my style of clothes, and trying overall to bring about a different side of me. A side that was more confident. I couldn't dye my hair frequently so I saved up and bought a nice realistic looking wig," Grell explained. 

William pondered the story. Something about it felt familiar. He couldn't quite place what it was until he remembered all of the times he'd ever entered a convenience store (which wasn't often and made it fairly easy to create a list). "Sutcliff," William began to laugh. Grell found this a bit rude. He'd just explained something very important to him and here William was laughing. 

"It's so incredibly ironic how the world works," William laughed so hard he had to rest his head on the table in front of him to try and contain himself. When had he laughed last? It was likely there wasn't a moment in his life in which he found humorous, except for this tragic irony. 

"That man was me, Sutcliff," William explained. "If I had walked into that convenience store an hour or so before, a week, a month before I did then...I wouldn't have looked like that and you wouldn't have changed a bit. We wouldn't have met, no, maybe we would have...and then I wouldn't be in this situation that I'm in now." William's train of thought trailed off. As he thought about the past and all of the things that led him to this moment in time, he realized that it was all his own fault. If he hadn't provoked Sebastian into getting tested for STDs, Sebastian wouldn't have fucked his sister, she wouldn't have gotten pregnant, and William wouldn't be here married to a man that he didn't love. 

If you'd told William five years in the past that one day he would meet someone that caused him to regret the situation, he would stare at you confused. But, he was here, right now, feeling an emotion (if you could call it that) common to all human beings. It scared him. He was regretting the decisions that he'd made so long ago, things he couldn't change, he shouldn't be so concerned with the past. Grell was changing him and he didn't understand why, which terrified him even more. 

Grell walked over to William. He placed his hand on William's head. William hadn't bothered to sit up straight again. He was stuck to the table for no particular reason. "It's okay," Grell said. William knew it wasn't okay. He couldn't expect Grell to be okay with him, a married unfeeling man, as a partner. Grell deserved better than that. He couldn't find comfort in those words. 

William lifted his head and looked at Grell. The expression on Grell's face was genuine, he knew that, but he also knew it wasn't okay. These were the two things that he knew and they contradicted themselves. "Why?" he asked. 

"Why?" Grell repeated. "Why is it okay?" William didn't answer. "Well, you said it yourself, you and your husband are tied together because of a string of circumstances. You don't love him, which means, you could one day love me. Even if you don't, I love you and I'm always going to love you, William." 

"How can you be so certain of that? Emotions aren't concrete. You might love someone else in the future. There is no need for you to be fixated on me," William said. 

"I know because I know," Grell smiled. "There won't be another person in my life that I'll love as strongly as I love you. I feel it, William. I just know that to be true." 

"Because of fate?" William asked.

"Because of fate."