What If.. (Nemi)

Chapt. 31: Suicidal Thoughts

Demi

- I'm sorry.. I acted by impulse and seeing you low made my heart twitch.. I should've learned the first time I rejected you.. I'm sorry..

I looked down - Exactly.. you rejected me.. for the second time..

- Demi.. I'm not perfect.. You hurt me!

- I was drunk! - I yelled frustrated

- Yes you were but that doesn't take the image off of my head! - He yelled back

I stared at his face trying to contain my tears.. he had a point.. I also had a point..

- What does this mean?

He closed his eyes taking a deep breath - I really do wanna break up

I looked down nodding - Okay..

We stood there in silence just looking at different things.. seconds later, after all the flashes of the great and bad moments we had passed, I whispered - Okay..

We did the show and I asked Anna to change with me.. they knew Nick and I broke up just for the simple fact that we couldn't even talk to each other

Selena asked questions and the fact that I wasn't responding to her and mostly ignoring her, made us get distant from each other

I started purging more and cutting myself deeper.. Nothing compared to the pain inside of me

I often skipped shows and sometimes, never got out of the small bedroom of the bus..

Everything was dark.. I was in so much pain.. It came to a point where I stared at my blade and thought.. "maybe I should do it today.." end it all you know?

One night, after dinner, we had no shows so I decided to walk a little.. get fresh air..

I saw a huge cliff and stared at it.. tears started streaming in my eyes..

I sat on it crying while looking down.. my feet were swinging in the air

Nick

It's been a week since our break up and it all has been consuming me

Demi is getting worse everyday and people were starting to talk about it

One day after dinner, I saw her start to walk away from the bus so I decided to follow her

She stopped staring at something and I got closer.. she sat on the ground. it seemed like a huge cliff..

My eyes started to water as she cried.. was she going to jump? I gotta stop her!

She moved her butt closer to the edge and I started running as fast as I could

She bounced on her arms and jumped

- NOOO!!! - I yelled crying

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OH FUCKING JESUS!!