Destined Path

Chapter Twenty-Six; Depths of Syzygy

Alexan

Sleep is a rarity in the path of parenthood. Torvi was a better sleeper than Imogen, but Rekker had woken his sisters up on and off throughout the night. All demanding their mother's attention. She didn't say a word, just jerking away on motherly instinct; feeding, rocking, walking around the tent over and over. By the time they all settled, Onyxia had collapsed into a troubled but deep sleep in the crook of my shoulder, head resting on my outstretched arm. I held her to me, almost feeling the nightmares enter her dreams. Her hands clenched tightly on my chest, and her breaths were rasping on my neck. We got at least five hours sleep, when I woke again she was sitting at the other side of the tent, dressed fully and black cad. She tightened leathery boots until the laces ended under her knees, tight pants and clinging shirt was paired with her hardened body armour; a solid chest plate.

As I sat up, her eyes lifted to meet my confused ones. Her expression was blank and unreadable. "Skjöldur mær...What are you doing?" I questioned sleepily, but becoming highly alert with awareness. My heart started pumping with suspicion. "It's the middle of the night." I almost accused, feeling tense I got out of the bed. Onyxia finished tying her boots, then looked up at me. It was the same passive and docile look she watched me with when I was naked and roused around her. Just accepting as her fate was coming. Right now, I didn't stand over her wanting to bed her and I wasn't trying to provoke her to do what I wanted. "What are you doing, Nyx?" I ordered, firmly. The heavy feeling of dread pin picked its way through my body, giving off cautionary cyphers.

Dark eyes looked up at me, she looked fragile in her cuts and bruises. "I'm not doing anything." She murmured, softly. Standing up to walk over to check on the children. A smile it her face, "They're snoring." She pointed out, I listened in silence for a moment and heard their tiny rasps of breath. I didn't even know babies could snore.

I scoffed, "By the Norns, you are!" I crossed my arms defensively. Frowning down at her, Nyx just looked at me passively. Her arm was out of its sling, but she still held it close to her body. "Are you leaving us?" I asked, making it very clear that the children weren't going anywhere if she changed her mind and left. I would die before I let anyone take them from me again. "If this is about what's happened, I've apologised and give you my word that I'll try to mend this." Continuing stiffly, as I tugged on pants and sockings. "I won't have it of you to be a coward and give up on us so easily. What happened tonight was you own choice and doing. Not mine." Grumbling defensively as I laced myself up, although my body seemed to think it was just another morning and rouse uncomfortably. As far as I was concerned right now, my cock can go to hell with its own state of mind. "If anyone should be angry, I have that right. I told you from day one, I gave your mother my word on a blood oath, that I will not harm you and I will not be your father. I acknowledge that you've had my back more than I've had yours, and I acknowledge that you've made sacrifices and suffered. You made yourself pretty clear that you don't have love for me, and I-"

"When?" She cut me off, still speaking softly. "When did I make myself clear that I don't have love for you?" Her question annoyed me. I wasn't making anything up, I remember every instance of her displeasure with me. When she left me I allowed myself to feel that loss, and reflect on every single moment I had with her. It plagued me deep into my sleep and relayed in my mind constantly.

Holding up my hands to her, I counted off on my fingers. "You told me very plainly back at the start of our journey north, when we left for our 'honeymoon', or whatever you called it. You cut your own wrists multiple times to end yourself, because you rather die than be with me. When my aunt and mother brought you to my father's chambers you made it clear that you had plans to leave me at the first opportunity you had. You told my aunt pointedly that if I didn't give you the child you needed you would leave me in me instantly. You rather let your handmaidens touch you than me, you won't even let me near you now." Letting out a shaky breath, I felt my eyes burn with emotion.