Destined Path

Chapter Twenty-Two; Empty as the Throne Sits

Onyxia PoV

What would he think, I wonder, if he woke up to find his wife fully dressed sitting in a chair studying his sleeping face. Would he think I was leaving him again? Plotting against him? That he was in trouble? I admit, it would be a daunting thing to wake to. Some of it was true, in a way not waking him when the messenger came to pass the message that his cousin was wanting a meeting with him this morning, was perhaps the wrong thing to do. Getting dress and deciding to go in his place was deceitful. And not waking him at all, and standing in for him without his knowledge was a betrayal.

I twirled my wedding ring as I watched him sleep. It felt heavy on my finger. He seemed to age ten years since we parted. His hair was longer, curling around his neck and ears. He had a beard, which he needed to trim. Today. His body seemed to lose all fat and hard, mature muscles replaced them. It was like he'd done nothing but hard labour, just building his strength up without care of his health. His face seemed hollower, his cheekbones more defined. Under his closed here the skin was darker, swollen and puffy. He looked terrible. He looked like he'd suffered. Tortured himself.

It had been three days, but three days too long. I could tell that Alexan wasn't fitting in too well here, not only due to his cousin's stupidity of words. As much as we put on a façade for the public eye, that we were a loving and devoted couple, I could feel the displeasure of his men. It put pressure on Alex, placed questions on him. Made facts vividly clear. Here he was losing face. Chasing me here was a waste of their time. I could see their doubt of me, and more importantly, of the child I bared. My husband grew more and more frustrated, angry and unhappy day after day. He always entered our bed naked, to goad and annoy me, but he slept far from me. In fact, it was as if he tried not to touch me. Why would he bother, he'd given up on pushing me for sex, and to me that was a very dangerous thing. If he didn't want to sleep with me, then he didn't want me. And I wanted him, I really did.

I dressed without help today, and with a purpose. Pulling my hair back in a simple bun, and leaving my weary face bare, wearing no jewellery other thank my wedding ring. I pushed my feet in soft kidskin boots, leaving my body naked under the dark blue gown I put on. It sat shapeless from its triangle bodice shape to collar around my neck, the fabric was a soft wool, but warm. Sleeves were loosely sticked on out of worn leathers. It was at least comfortable, seeming as I couldn't handle the discomfort of pregnancy any further, praying to the Gods that this child leaves my body soon. It felt heavy, my body felt heavy. I envisioned such a fat baby in my mind, my partner at every meal constantly growing inside me. I wrapped myself in a shawled cape of fur.

Moving quietly, but Alex wasn't going to wake soon, he seemed deep in his slumber. His body fully at rest, limp in unconsciousness. I left our bedroom. Perhaps it was best that Alexan didn't know, that way I could kill his cousin without witnesses. I smirked at the thought. It was Saturday after all, I had a reason to wash up afterwards.

The walk wasn't far, but it felt like it. It was funny that in the first months of pregnancy I could barely feel the weight of the child growing inside of me, now, now weight was all I felt. Such a bazaar journey life was, one moment I was the youngest leader of our shieldmaiden squadron of our clan, now I was a pregnant queen of almost seventeen. No longer able to follow through with the harsh training and dangers of raids. It was more than frustrating, even more so with the horror that my body mightn't recover and I wouldn't be fit enough to train again.

As I walked towards the housing hall Fredrik waited in, the heard of stoic Celtic men awaiting for their king greeted me. Reminding me that the choice to return to training mightn't be in my own hands anymore. Their non-smiling faces judged me as their absent queen. A fact that I was guilty to admit that I never thought about, it coiled in my stomach at how much of a spoiled child they must think of me.