Destined Path

Chapter Eighteen; The Fork in the Road

For three weeks I waited outside that door. I listened to her scream. I listened to her cry. I listened to her curse me. For three weeks I've been waiting for the permission to enter. It was coming, I knew. She couldn't hide from me forever. We needed to talk. I needed to grieve with her, it was my child too. Her family had arrived, and I actually cried on the shoulder of her grandmother. I've been crying ever since that day. I had banned everyone from me, and only attended meetings that warranted urgency.

I knew what was coming, I had watched them slowly pack her things. Stripping her existence from my life, from our room. It killed me, shredded me apart until I was nothing but bone. I took it upon myself to gain retaliation, to redeem myself. I had Luis taken hostage, interrogated him. Thoroughly. I had to know, I needed to know if he raped my wife. While she was sleeping, that bastard! I beat him until he begged me to believe that he only touched her. I left him on his father's front steps bloody and brainless. Sending word to Nyx, hoping that it'll comfort her. I took Kyarah into custody. I dismissed Eréndira. I hadn't spoken to my mother. And I listened to Sarabii, ever heartbreaking word of Nyx's plan.

Any way you see it, it was all my fault. I created rumours via my jealousy to bicker with Luis. I fought with Onyxia outside our chamber walls. I was too cowardly to tell her I loved her. I was cold when she took me in her mouth, and I stupidly neglected her afterwards. I should have taken her. I should have made love to her. Show her how I felt if I couldn't brave the words. If Nyx truly wanted me to marry Sarabii, take her as a second wife that I don't want, I would do it for her. The Norns knew, I had spent many a night cradling my son in my arms, crying over the loss I robbed from him. He could have had a sister or a brother. Gods help me, I will put another child in her. I wouldn't stop trying until so was so full of seed there was no other option but to conceive.

The door opened, and her handmaidens existed one at a time, every single one of them glancing my way with an expression of mass antipathy. They say the blunt of my actions. They saw her bleed and cry. Of course they'd hate me. I hated me. They left the door open to the darkened room. For the first time she was left alone in her room. For the first time she invited me in. I didn't waste any time, I rushed into the room, closing the door quickly behind me.

The windows were curtained, shutting most of the light out, leaving it a world of dull musk. Warm fires were placed about and the air was hot. Suffocating me in my fur coat. Causing the air to be thick and heady. My wife had been smart enough to lock herself in the servant's quarters. There was nothing here but the necessities. A bed. A wardrobe. Bathing materials. Untouched food lingered about. Nyx had her back turned to me, sitting with her legs apart and her elbows rested on her knees, as she leant forward to stare absently at the washbowl in front of her. She looked too thin. Far too thin. Just muscle and bone and nothing else.

Her long, pale hair was bunned on top of her head, loose wisps fell to caress her shoulders and neck. She looked paler than I ever seen her, like a silvery elf. Like a goddess. A Valkyrie. Her breasts were bound with thick bandages, and she only wore her dark trousers. Her bare feet looked cold against the hard floor. Her exposed stomach looked flat and toned, I somehow expected it to be rounded or at least fuller. Her back was a tragic mess of red marks and healing scars. "I thought I should let you in, see what you want." Her tone was bitter as she gently washed her arms with a cloth. "I must admit your patience has shocked me, I expected you to barge through that door weeks ago."

"I should have, I've missed you in our bed." I forced myself to speak as offset and cold as possible, but it came out far too soft for it. She froze, then scoffed. I should have rephrased that. "I never ordered this. I hate what it has done between us." I uttered, walking up to her, encircling her with my arms. Planting a kiss on her head, lingering long, just to inhale that sweet scent. "I've missed you so much, Nyx. I can't breathe without you. I can't think."