Destined Path

Chapter Twenty-One; Don't Mess with the Lioness

Onyxia PoV

Pain wasn't a necessity, it wasn't a burden either. I couldn't take off that stupid dress soon enough, I was dying for the time where I can go back to my leathers and armour. I was so tired of dresses. I was so exhausted by this child growing inside of me. The back pain. The sleepless nights. The sexual frustration. It wasn't a lie. The deeper the pregnancy went on, the more I would feel achy and sexual, arousing more quickly and without thought. Alex wasn't the only one going to bed and finding sleep the furthest thing from they're mind. I knew he was growing just as unsatisfied and discouraged.

As I disrobed, staring at myself in the mirror and feeling a spur of unhappy insecurities filled me. I was always unsafe in my thoughts about my body, now.... Well, now I felt so... wrong. It wasn't that I hated being pregnant, or didn't want to be. I just hated the changes. Alexan has only seen me one way. Tall, slender, and well maintained. Now I was the size of a seal, my ass looked horrible, I was unable to clean the hair between my legs, and my breasts were absolutely ridiculous. He wanted his wife in his bed, he wanted sex. I just didn't. How can I have sex while I feel so disgusted with myself?

How can we have sex when I still feel so betrayed by him?

I didn't know. We hadn't spoken any more about it. The scars of lashes burned into my back as if the very memory could make the wounds bleed once more. Gingerly scrubbing myself in a quick bath, sensing my restlessness the child within me kicked and shuffled. I watched with curiosity and fascination at the pushing under my skin. "Your father should be here to see how restless you are." I murmured, stroking my full belly in welcome. "He can't wait to meet you, little one." Smiling, I washed my hair. My skin was far too warm and clammy, the icy touch of the cool water was a greeted relief.

The fireplace burned brightly, kissing the homely bedroom with warmth. I walked over to my side of the bed, pulling on my nightgown. Not feeling confident, I was thankful for the simplistic white cotton. I stretch against the wall, my back creaking with the weight of our child. It grew too fast, too big. I just wanted our son to come out of me already. The way he squirmed he must be impatient to meet us too. I smirked at the thought, he'd have a dishevelled farmer as a father and a drained urchin for a mother. Overall, if there was something I ultimately love about my husband, not that he doesn't annoy me to death, is that I could walk around in a sack and he wouldn't judge me. Over the months he was gone, I missed him whole heartedly.

There was a soft knock at the door, I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose. "You can come in, Alex." I called out, sitting at my dressing table. The women of my village buried me with all different ointments, creams, potions, and other obnoxious things that were supposed to keep me beautiful from my hair, to my skin, to the baby's health, to things that were allegedly fantastically successful in keeping you vagina tight after birth. Alex would love that as much as my fuller breasts. Men, I rolled my eyes.

Rekker squealed awake as his father scooped him out room his crib. Another reason to avoid sex, the child might watch accidently. "Ah, fallegur drengur minn, hvað hefur þú verið að gera? Vissir þú hafa a ágætur sofa?" Ah, my beautiful boy, what have you been up to? Did you have a nice sleep? It hurt to see him so affectionate with his boy. I wanted him to love our child too. Carrying the awaken child, my husband walked over to kiss my head lightly. I lifted my face and his lips met mine in a quick peck. Scooping my hair up in a messy bun so I can wash my face. Alex sighed, "You look exhausted, Nyx." Worry etched his face, for a week he's been stressing over my sleepless nights and interrupted breaks throughout the night. "Is here anyway I could help you, ástin mín?"

Shaking my head, I dipped my fingers into the plant scented lip balm, keeping a careful eye on him in the reflection. I didn't want my husband to know I was insecure about my body or this pregnancy. Especially the pregnancy. I never lied when I said I wanted children, it's just this is my first time that I'm going to give birth to one, and I hated it. I hated being pregnant.