Letters from India - Part 2

66. Moved to Shed & Days Filled with Darshan - Oct - Nov 1993

Moved to the Shed

October 27, 1993

Prasanthi Nilayam

Dear Parents,

On Tuesday, October 26th, I left South A-13 and went to the sheds. I'm there now, in Shed 16 place number 70.

No word has come from Swami yet, and no one told me to leave the room; still, I was feeling uncomfortable there. Many people’s eyes were on me – all were asking, “Where do you stay?” It’s better that I can say, “the shed.” I told the family NOT to talk to Swami about me. Because, I was never with Venkamma for selfish reasons, I never sought favors, so why should I now? So we will see.

The shed is the same – about half full of people now, always talking or some noise or the other, different smells and different clothing – but at least I put up a curtain and can be quiet and alone. I am still not talking to people. I feel that if I could adjust to the hectic, always new, surprising, joyful and troublesome life with Amma, I can adjust to anything!

As with any other foreigner, they have given me only two months permission to stay in the ashram (from now until Christmas). They want me to consult the top ashram administration to see my position, since I have stayed so many years already. They say I could maybe get approval to continue to be a permanent. But, I will wait till the two months are over, and in the meantime, see what/if Sai will say anything!

Now Swami is giving Darshan & interviews, and coming to bhajans as usual. Be well & happy!

Loka Samastha Sukhino Bhavantu

Love,

Divya

______________________

Days Filled With Darshan

November 3, 1993

Prasanthi Nilayam

Dear Parents,

Sorry to burden you with my letters, but this month is the month of news!

Yesterday evening, between Darshan and bhajan, Swami came out holding a plastic bag. He called to someone on the gent’s side, and a man came up to the verandah to receive the gift. I don’t know why, but the man pulled down on his ears. We all saw this. Then, Swami suddenly bent down and also, with both His hands, pulled both the man’s ears! We all laughed.

Later on, when the flute music started (15 minutes before bhajan), Swami stared at all of us from the verandah, then sighed and leaned against a pillar, slowly swaying side-to-side. I felt we are all in Dwapara Yuga watching Krishna! It was really thrilling.

One day we came home from evening bhajan to see a huge snake by someone’s bed in the shed! (About 15 feet from where my place was). This place is my favorite one, and I was waiting for it to be vacated so I could move there! Now a big 6-foot snake was there! After a long time, Seva Dal men came and got it out with the help of sticks (they didn’t kill it). Also baby snakes and scorpions were found in our shed!

Within two days the place became free and I moved there. When I sleep, my head is in the place where the snake laid! I couldn’t resist the place - a nice quiet corner space with two walls (Shed 16 – place number 145 & 146).

I sent the key of South A-13 to Amma’s son, and he handed it over to the office! They put all her luggage in the kitchen and cleaned & painted the room, and it’s been locked since then.

It is noisy in the shed, but what to do? It is my only choice, unless I want to share a room with three or four others. That is worse than the shed! Or, I could get an expensive room outside, which I also don’t want to do.

Here is my new, updated schedule:

2:30-4:30 AM - Sadhana

4:30-5 AM - Bath, etc.

5-7:30 - Lines & Darshan

7:30-8:30 - Free time

8:30-10 - Lines & bhajan

10-12 noon - Washing clothes, shopping, etc.

12-2 PM - Nap

2-2:30 - Bath

2:30-6:15 - Lines, Darshan & bhajan (stay sitting in compound)

7-8:30 - Sadhana

8:30 PM – 2:30 AM - Sleep

As you can see, time is filled even without work! I like the long days of Darshan. In the evenings, Swami has been giving Darshan by 4 PM, then also interviews. After interview until bhajan, He stands on the verandah for a long time and talks with the students, looks at their books, signs photos for them, wipes His face with the handkerchiefs they offer Him, etc.

Before, I used to try all day to see all as God. Now what I see most of the day IS really God!

Of course, there are opportunities to see all the people as God also. I am always in the midst of people, Indians who like to sit on each other and me, crying babies, children smelling of different odors, foreigners who blow their noses (trumpets!), gossiping permanents, etc., etc. I just keep quiet and look at Swami, or read His books in Telugu.

I’ve been lucky getting good lines into the Mandir for morning bhajan, and many times it seems like He’s staring at me from afar. But as for Darshan lines, I get all last numbers and He never looks towards me!

Yesterday, the old-time head of the ashram, the fear-inducing Chiranjivi Rao called to me and said his wife may be admitted in the hospital and I could look after her for two days! The last thing I want is to ever step my foot in a hospital again! But maybe acceptance is the test – so I said “OK”. (I don’t think it was a choice!) So far nothing has happened. But I definitely don’t want any hospital work! I would rather leave to Anandashram in Kerala!

Well as usual, only time can say.

Loka Samastha Sukhino Bhavantu.

Love,

Divya