Letters from India - Part 2

19a. Vijay Sri & Swami's Family - Feb 1990

Swami's Family Tragedies February 1990  

Prasanthi Nilayam

Dear Peoples,

2 Feb: As for traditional letter greetings, I hope all is well there.

Since 4 January Venkamma's granddaughter Niraja has been here, with her 2-year old (what's the word? Only “terrible twos” comes to mind!) daughter.

I have learned a lot about children or at least about this one. Very intelligent, extremely clever and spoiled also. I am given the job of sometimes babysitting her, out-of-character for me but for Venkamma I did it. She became attached to me – which doesn't mean much as children are very wavering. Overly attached, she'd panic, run after me and cry, “Auntie! Auntie!!” demanding to be picked up and saying she didn't want Mommy or Great Grandmommy (Venkamma), she'd come with me wherever I'd go. This would go on for hours, until I could slip away unnoticed. After which, true to child's nature, she'd forget completely about me until she saw me next. She'd do the exact same act with neighbor's children or even Venkamma's maid!

Besides this, she demands anything and everything around. She snatches poor Venkamma's reading glasses right off her nose then puts them on and says, “Hello! Hello!” She throws all the flowers helter-skelter, or puts them on a tray and gives them out as prasad, or does Arathi with them and demands that people partake of the arathi “flame”.

Vijai Sri is extremely independent and not attached at all to mother. She walks around confidently with arms and shoulders swaying as if she's the queen. She developes attachments quickly but forgets just as quickly. She was immediately fond of the new baby sister and rocks the cradle, asks if she's eaten, talks about the baby as if the baby talks to her already. Calls her “paapa” (baby” or “naa chelelu” (my sister).

When Niraja delivered the new baby, this first girl went to her dad's mother's house and got attached to her dad's sister (my age). So much so, that, she didn't come to the ashram in days and when she was brought, she didn't so much as look my way or even Venkamma's way, and wouldn't even come to Venkamma's house despite all Venkamma's pleadings and temptations of chocolates! Very wavering indeed, children! Anyway, I was running back and forth between room and hospital. Even spending an hour or two a day as the maid on duty with Niraja went to eat. I wasn't much help with a tiny baby (weighing only 5 pounds or so!).

Now Niraja's come to the ashram and at least is in a separate room, two doors down. Now an even harder task – sometimes, I have to fill in, just sit until the maid comes. How to make conversation with someone my own age, with one child and a new born baby yet! I have no experience, so it is difficult and I don't know what to say!

Venkamma's been telling stories. So much tragedy in the family! All the children of Easwaramma have had children who died young. Starting with Easwaramma's brother (Venkamma's husband Subba Raju), who died about age 40 of rabies due to a dog bite. Easwaramma's other younger brother has had two children die, one of flu about age 11 and the other killed herself (with pills) at age 24 or so.

Easwaramma's first child, Seshama Raju, had three children die (still 6 surviving), Venkamma had a baby girl that lived only ten days (was sick and didn't drink milk, she said), Parvatamma had a 3-year old child that died (this was right after her husband died, when she was pregnant with her daughter Chittamma). Parvatamma has holding the child and tripped, the child crashed to the ground, vomited and never got up – that's what Venkamma told me. Swami was the next child for Easwaramma, then the youngest, Janakiramayya. He was very ill with TBA, finally he got married and also lost one daughter in young age.

Not to mention all the other tragedies. Nowadays the family members are afraid to ask Swami anything, as in most all situations He shrugs His shoulders and says something like, “Doesn't matter,” or, “I will see,” or “What can I do?” Yet sometimes He does give support so they have hope.

8 Feb: Well, I probably have enough money for the next year but, if people are coming and you feel like sending something, feel free. It always thrills Venkamma when I get money, and she uses it as a threat the next time I don't spend what I should, “See! Your mother just sent money and you won't even buy some fruit!”

Of course, I’ll never spend on myself for clothes, so Venkamma took my money and bought it herself! She's put Rs 2,000 in some deposit scheme, which brings in Rs 40/-- interest every month. Venkamma hands it to me monthly. One month, she handed me two new cholis instead! She had taken the monthly money and had two cholis made. Perfect fit, also! There was money left over and I made her get two for herself also.

Well, summer is coming and the signs of the seasons are showing: electricity and water are starting to be turned off frequently. 22 January=Swami left to Whitefield; 5 February: Swami left to Madras.

Someone's going now so I'll sign off. Stay well! All is well here! All for now. Loka Samastha Sukhino Bhavantu.

Love,

Divya