Letters from India - Part 2

24. Krishnashtami & More Vijai Sri Stories - Sept 1990

Krishnashtami & More Vijai Sri Stories

September 1990

Prasanthi Nilayam

Dear Parents,

Divya conveys her namaskars

I'm trying to write this letter neatly although, I'm fanning myself with one hand, or the hundreds of tiny gnats will block the paper from view.

How is everything there? Here all is fine, Swami is busy - very, very busy.

Krishnashtami was nice. Morning I had a nice view, there was nice music on the verandah for awhile. The compound was full of thousands of students as well as thousands of devotees. Swami wondered about and gave nice Darshan. Finally the procession arrived with Sai Geeta in the front. Swami hugged her and whispered in her ears, and gave her fruits to eat. Next He had to run all over the compound, trying to get the devotees to move back for the cows! Good thing I was under the arch, because by the end of the function there were lakes of cow urine that went over and around the poor devotees who sat on the ground! :-)

Swami fed the cows bananas, most of them anyway. Last year He didn’t feed any of them and the year before He fed all of them! After the meal, Swami broke coconuts in front of all of them. This was my first time I had full view of Him breaking coconuts - powerful Darshan! Very happy. Then He had the pujari do arathi to all the cows, first to the ones on the gents side, then to the ones on the ladies side, then the priest lit a separate arathi for Swami, and away He went.

Next was Ganesh Chaturthi. There were nice songs on the verandah and after prasad was given to all (salty cream-of-wheat balls).

It happened that the Chief Minister Channa Reddy was paying a visit. He is a story in himself! He brought with him countless police and guards and family and assistants (his party took up 40 rooms!) He himself stayed in the Poornachandra back rooms. The poor fellow had all the Indians laughing behind his back (although all the foreigners showed respect, not knowing his story). Even Venkamma scolded him, I won't go into details. Anyway, our Sai treated him nicely, sending food, granting interviews daily, visiting him in the Poornachandra room, etc.

Now, after Ganesh celebrations, instead of going in after arathi, Swami stayed around and talked with the Chief Minister. Swami began to call up different college boys, asking them questions then introducing them to the CM to brag about His boys to him! Swami even called up one foreigner boy. The CM also gave suitable impressed-looking facial expressions and exclamations. What a drama!

Finally the CM left, to the tune of horns, conches and yelled proclamations of glory from his party. One VIP Indian commented, “Sheesh! All this only for a CM. For the Prime Mister, yes; but for CM?!” Another lady said, “Good he’s gone soon, people are only scolding him!” Pooor fellow indeed. Politics!

I forgot, on Krishnashtami night there was a discourse in the Mandir. Unfortunately, I was on babysitting duty with an irate Vijai Sri, so I caught only a few words. Sounded nice, though, on gopis & devotion.

I’ve been thinking, this ashram has turned into quite a hive of construction, gossip and controversy. Not a place of spiritual (intense) sadhana. A place to see Swami is what it is. When the time comes, when I’ve learnt what I have to, I feel certain that the Lord will put the circumstances such that I may retire in some cave or quiet, small ashram, like Anandashram. In Prasanthi Nilayam, even staying on one’s own and having one’s own room, still no one here can help getting involved in or at least hearing, controversy. Blah. Perhaps after Venkamma goes, I’ll retire from Prasanthi Nilayam. Like Swami says, to progress spiritually is most important. For many staying here, progress doesn’t seem very evident! Perhaps He is keeping progress secret, for different reasons, to be suddenly exposed to fruition at some later date - perhaps only at death!

I just got your letter and was delighted at the horoscope info! Thanks. Surely there is something in there about not being able to fit into any community of people? And about dropping, losing or breaking anything that hands come in contact with? This pitiful situation continues, though I try my utmost (when I remember) to grasp things firmly. I count my blessings that no one here uses glass utensils.

Recently I considered going to Anandashram for a vacation, why make Venkamma’s life harder by not living up to her standards? But when I asked, she wouldn’t give me permission. She said now are bad and unsafe times, and I was to stay only here. Then she said she would be around to look after and establish her children and me for some time longer (i.e., not leaving the planet yet). I asked, “And me? What will you do for me?” She said, “Bring you to Vairagyam.” To me, ‘Vairagyam’ means not only unattachment, but a state of Bliss also. Then she added, “Not now, slowly. When you are 30.” Only later I remembered, that’s when you said I’d get out of Ketu Period and into Venus. So, Venus will mean mergence with the Lord, or at least the beginning stages of higher consciousness – I hope! She also admitted, “That’s why I scold you. Do you think I'm hard with you for nothing? It’s to bring you slowly to Vairagyam state.” Awhile ago I remember her asking me, “What will you do after I'm gone?” then jokingly, “Will you go to America?” Then she said, “No, no. Stay only here, in Prasanthi Nilayam.”

Well, Vijai Sri and her family came and stayed two weeks in Venkamma’s house: Vijai Sri, baby sister Jay Sri, and their mother Niraja. The whole house had sounds of crying and singing. I stayed away mostly. When I happened to come (or even to be seen), Vijai Sri would cling to me for dear life. “You have to stay, you have to stay.” Or if I went, “I'm coming! I'm coming!!” and would go hysterical if I went away from her. Dear me! Whenever I could, I’d somehow get away. She was up to her same tricks, song-and-dance routines and baby talk so dear to children-lovers. She enacted cinemas and radio songs.

Once Vijai Sri found a string and gave one end to Venkamma, and took the other herself, then said “Come, come!” Venkamma was so confused and at first, didn't know what to do with the string! After several times of Vijai Sri prompting, she made Venkamma pull one end while Vijai Sri pulled the other end, till they both met in the middle, when Vijai Sri broke into a song, “Oooooh Priya, Pri-ya, mmmmmy Priay, Pri---yaaa!” (‘Priya’ means ‘beloved’), dropping the string and holding Venkamma tight! (From a cinema love-story!)

Another time, I was sitting innocently and Vijai Sri picked up a comb and started to comb my hair. “Does it hurt? Here, I’ll get another one.” Then, she found flowers and put them in my hair (the flowers were falling out one side because of my slippery hair!). Then she took kum-kum and put a dot on my forehead. Then, as if that wasn’t enough, she got kaatika (the black stuff used to put beauty marks on children). She skillfully put the black stuff as a round beauty spot on my cheek! Not enough, then she said, “This won't hurt, I won't poke you,” and she proceeded to take her finger and pull down the skin below my eye and smudged the black stuff under both my eyes! Venkamma and Niraja were laughing hysterically at this outpouring of affection, as if I was her baby!

Finally, they left us and returned to Anantapur. I don’t think they’ll return till November. Venkamma’s already planning a trip to see them, if Swami goes to Whitefield.

Swami gave me namaskar on 30 August. Although He was throwing candies all around me, I was intent only on His face. He did look at me sort of confused, as if thinking why wasn’t I grabbing for the candies? Instead I held His left foot and looked into His face – eternity....

Chiranjivi Rao has returned, causing a bit of fear to be born in the ashram! He told me his wife is coming after, and they’ll be staying on! I had no courage to ask how long, or whether he’ll work again.

Venkamma has been quite busy and weak-feeling lately, although to the outside world she’s her usual blessing self.

Now Venkamma gets up about 4:30 AM and cooks for Swami till 9 AM. After bhajan is the time to run around for her children’s business - in the sun, in the village, in the bank.

Oh yes, also that grandson Subri’s son Akshaya that was just born, village conditions weren’t good so mother and baby arrived here. Good thing Venkamma got them a separate room, but it means Venkamma running back and forth all day, and providing all food as well as coffee, snacks, blankets, beds, etc. A saint’s work is never done!

Loka Samastha Sukhino Bhavantu.

Love,

Divya