Faking a smile

Hope

*LAURENS POV*

I reached my bedoom door once again. Without fear, i opened the door and walked in,closing the door behind me. The music was not on anymore but the girl had her earphones in and she was sat at the desk writing. From the corner of her eye, she must have saw someone so looked up. She was shocked at first but then she just .. Smiled. She smiled and got up to greet me.

"Hi my names Kayce spelt K and a C!" She smiled.

"My names lauren.." I said nervously

She smiled and began to hug me softly.

"This is your bed over here and well the wardrobe is there,desk there,shelf there and thats about it. Do you need any help unpacking?" She questioned

"No thanks" i replied and Kc walked back over to her bed.

Once i had unpacked i lay on my bed and stared at the ceiling. I then realised Kc was doing the same.

"I expected you to react a lot more.." I admitted

"When i walked into my room in a treatment facility i would not want some massive fangirl screaming and hugging me?" She quickly replied

"Good point. Well im tired so i'm gonna sleep, goodnight." i said once i climbed into my bed and turned my back towards her.

"Night" she replied and turned the lights out.

~

The next morning was full of here there and everywhere. Talks,talks and more talks. 'You can get through this' 'we will help you' 'stay strong' OKAY?! I get it. I get that im in here because im fucked up and i get that they have to help but to be honest I DONT CARE ! I have my 1 on 1 therapy session now.

I walked into the office where Felc was sat on one side of her desk.

"Come and sit down lauren" she pointed to the small set of table and chairs in the corner and she came and sat with me.

"So, first of all what are the problems you are suffering with?" She questioned

"Well im pretty sure that self harming isnt normal. I guess im anorexic and well bulimic too. Some people would say that i have a drinking and drug problem?"

"Okay so what would you like to focus on today?" She kindly asked

"My eating. Weight is my worst fear and i know that is going to be the clear change of me once i get out of here. The thought of me being any bigger then my size right now terrifies me.."

"So lauren, why do you feel that pressure to be a smaller weight?"

"I,i dont know.."

"Well i think its because of your fame? Dont you?" Felc questioned

"Of course it is because of my fame. Being infront of cameras 24/7 is alot of pressure. Then on twitter when people call me fat i guess thats really what triggers me in the first place."

"Hate on twitter. I think with that you have to realise that well, they're just people behind a screen. They have never EVER mattered to you in your life before so why should they now? Most of the people that send hate are trolls. Do you know what that is?"

"No i dont?"

"Well we haw this tracking system for haters on twitter, and it tracks if they actually sent the hate. A troll is someone that doesnt actually send it to one person. A tweet gets automatically sent the milli second a celebrity tweets. When people call you fat, they are not even directing it to you. They are sending the same piece of hate to multiple celebrities."