IF THAT'S WHAT IT TAKES Book 2

Chapter 15

**** Nate's mother in m/m ****

AMBER P.O.V. –

I entered into Nate’s mother’s house, and noticed she had about four suit cases packed and sitting by the door.  

“You going somewhere?” I followed her into the kitchen, where she sat at a stool with a glass of wine.

“Have a seat darling.” She smiled.

I sat. She poured me a glass of wine.

“Is there anything in this house you want?” She scooted the glass toward me.

“Uh…not that I can think of right now. Why?”

“I’m selling the house and everything in it.”

“Really?”

“Yes chile, I just want to get rid of it. Not a single good memory here. My real-estate agent has potential buyers, and I’m letting my lawyer handle everything. I want nothing to do it.” She took a sip of her wine.

“I saw you packed some suitcases.”

“Yes darling, I’m leaving first thing tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?”

“I have a flight to Spain.”

“What about work? You’re a judge.”

“I resigned. My entire life was dedicated to someone or something else besides me. If it wasn’t my parents it was Nathan. If it wasn’t Nathan it was work. I don’t know how much longer I got, and I can’t do it anymore.”

“I understand.”

“ And Jesus, I just refuse to be one of those widows that sits in a house and mourns for the rest of her life. The best way to keep the dead’s memory alive is to live.”

“Where are you going go after vacation?”

“It’s not a vacation darling. I’m traveling the world. That will be my fulltime job.”

“That was Nate’s dream.” I smiled.

“I know.” She looked down. Sadness filled her eyes.

I had never seen this woman vulnerable. Even at the memorial service she didn’t shed a tear. She just acted as though everything was okay. But I finally saw a crack in her strong exterior.

“I disappointed my son repeatedly.”

“No Mrs. Parker--.”

She cut me off by raising her finger.

“I did. I could never protect him and that hurts me. A mother’s job is to protect her child and I couldn’t do it.” Tears rolled down her cheeks.

I got up to hug her.

“It’s all my fault.” She cried into my chest.

“No Mrs. Parker. Don’t take the blame for that.”

“It is. I wanted to be there so bad for him, but I allowed my sick love for someone else to stand in the way of that. My own cowardness.” She lifted her head and wiped her eyes.

“So me and my son are going to travel the world.” She grabbed the urn with Nate’s ashes. “And everywhere I go, he will go. And every place I leave, I will leave a piece of him behind by spreading his ashes. That way, he can say he traveled the world.”

“I love that Mrs. Parker.” I gave a bright smile at that brilliant idea.

She had returned to her normal self. It scared me how she was able to change like that. I guess so many years of putting up fronts.