Isolation&Solitude

12

"I expect more from you Juliana. Just that month of training will not keep you from saving yourself in a life or death situation." Hansel drilled into my ear, he had made me shift 20 times with no rest between shifts.

I couldn't move or I was sure every muscle in my body would rip and be completely shredded. I was face down on the mountains ground, the robe I had brought with me barely covering my body. My whole body was sweating, shaking, it hurts to even breathe. I had gotten a call at three in the morning from Hansel himself yelling in my ear.

Telling me, "Who the fuck do you think you are?! Are ya' fuckin' dumb?! I know you haven't been training! Ain't doin' shit! Ya' lazy shit!"

It was now six and I knew I was still nowhere near done. I grit my teeth, "get up. get up.", I told myself as I fisted my hands in the dirty and moss of the mountains ground. I whimpered as I felt my muscles suddenly cramp in my back, I let out a cry as I fall to the group with my face.

"Ya see, you could've avoid this if you were being responsible. You should know better than that, Juliana. You have to work twenty times as harder than anybody else. Now get up."

I stared at the set of stairs, I shook my head and turned around. Walking to the kitchen and opening up the freezer. I grabbed the ice maker that was filled with ice and I grabbed a bag full of ice that was under it. I found the guest bathroom and started to fill the tub with cold water, dumping in the ice after.

It was 8:30, Hansel was giving me an hour break before I had to FaceTime him again so I could train. I untied the robe, it slid up my shoulders and dropped to my ankles. I stripped out of my panties and slowly eased myself into the ice cold water. My muscles tensed, my breath was ceased from me.

As I sunk lower into the large bath, my chin under the water I thought of Kirishima. How I always was left feeling breathless at the things he does. How he makes me feel on edge all the time, I was confused on how we were supposed to progress from this awkward situation. I let my head go all the way under the water and the ice.

The cold of the ice numb my face and body. My lungs clench and tighten as I hold my breath, the cold water making it more sever. I popped my head back up, breaking the surface. I take in a sharp breath, my hair captured the frozen water and was now distributing it across my chest. I push the hair back from my face.

I lift my leg, watching as a few ice cubs slide off, plopping into the water.

"Mommy please don't l-leave. Please. I'll be better. I promise, I'll be nicer to Tyson-" I sealed my lips as she threw a hard look at me. That love...was gone. It was placed with disgust.

"Beta. Don't forget that. Beta Tyson. Juliana you just don't get it...you are something that was never supposed to happen. I've always tried to convince myself...but Tyson has shown me that you are what everyone in my community had said. A mistake. I've risked my life, and threw it away to raise you...I won't make the same mistake again."

I tried to gulp down the lump in my throat, my hands shook. "I-I'm sorry. I'm sorry mommy. Maybe when I get a mate-"

She laughed in my face. "Tyson was right. Halfbreed are just as stupid as humans." She crouched down to get to my face level. She smirked at me evilly. "You'll never get a mate. Because you're something that the moon goddess is disgusted of. An abomination."

I scream as I feel arms grab me from under my arms. My hair falls over my eyes as I'm pulled out of the water. "Answer me when I'm calling out your name!" Kirishima barks in my face as he pushed my hair out of my eyes.

For the first time since I've known this man. He's showed such an expression. Just for me. I'm bewildered to the point I couldn't even form a sentence, or even think of one at that. Leaving him to think it was perfectly fine to lift me out of the tub, a towel now wrapped around me as he did.

"I-I'm fine, I was fine-" I stammer, gripping the towel in my hands. I watch as he grabs another towel. "I wasn't d-drowning or anything. Cold water can't k-kill me-!" My voice bounces up as he drops the towel on my head and starts to dry my hair, rubbing at my scalp.

"Kirishima!" My voice was unusually high from this flustered feeling. He suddenly stopped, my face was covered, I couldn't see him in front of me but I felt him. His chest pressed closer to mine.

"I couldn't feel a heartbeat, I couldn't even hear it." I felt a heavy pang in my chest as I heard the despair in his voice. "You might not feel the strength of this bond, but I do." I would have said that I wouldn't die from an ice bath but I couldn't.

I could feel his emotions. Apprehensively, I reach out, pressing my hand to his neck. I look up, the towel falling off my head, my hair a huge mess. "I'm okay, I cant just disappear so easily. I won't disappear so easily." It felt new and unfamiliar, comforting him this way. Someone this big, when I was with the little ones back in the school I'd have to talk to them like this but it was never a reoccurring problem.

But unlike the children's irrational problems, Kirishima truly looks scared.

His hands brush my hair down and out of my eyes. I watched as he analyzed me, my heart racing, it felt like it had been dumped in cold water. My throat clenched, but the rest of my body was humming at his touch. I felt at peace. Calm and relaxed.

"No more ice baths. Ever, never again." He said with a serious face. I let out a real laugh, my loud and overly obnoxious laugh. I quickly covered my mouth as the sound snapped me out of it. I looked at his face, gathering my things and leaving the bathroom.

"Hansel wants me train so, I'll be doing that." I ran up the flights of stairs, turning into our room and quickly throwing the panties into the dirty clothes bin that was placed in the bathroom. I grab my black leggings, throwing on a matching black sports bra. I grab a hair tie, keeping it on my wrists for safe keeping.

I stop by the mirror, I lean in close. Making a face at my unkept eyebrows. I ball my fist and quickly give in to my self-conscious feelings. I rummage through my bags and find my makeup bag, pulling out my tweezers and going to town on my eyebrows.

By the time I was finished I was basically squatting on the counter, my forehead pressed against the mirror. I hop off, quickly washing my face with all my cleansers, dry it off, moisturize, apply lip balm and done. I frown at myself. "What the fuck am I doing?" I groan, placing everything back in the bag and walking out of the bathroom.

I grab my katana, walking out the room and down the stairs. But before I could start training I'm stopped by Kirishima, his hand had reached out and grabbed by my arm. I raised my arm, noticing he was also on my phone. He had looked me up and down, "Yes she's right here. I don't know if I'd be up for that, we've just gotten adjusted-"

I quickly move closer, standing on the tips of my toes so I could hear the full conversation. Kirishima's voice cracking in the process.

"Well, you wanted us to question the humans. You usually like to be here during these things. It would be good for Juliana to come, as well." I moved away, standing back on my feet.

"We have to go." I expressed while tying my hair up. I wanted to tag along for many reasons, mostly because I wanted to find out more about what was going on with the tribes of wolves and what they were planning to do.

Kirishima sighed, "We'll be there by tomorrow night."