Sanders Sides x Reader Oneshots | On Hiatus

Logan (Logic) x Suicidal!Reader

QUICK A/N: I am no longer using (Y/N), I'm using (Y/n). All others will be mildly simplified like this. In this universe, the Sides and Thomas are brothers. Oh, and you're all 18-ish in this one and at college. Thank you! A/N OVER!

Worthless.

Ugly.

Fat.

Stupid.

These were all words that constantly ran through your head, amongst others. You hated the way you looked. Compared to very one else, you were a fat and lazy idiot. Everyone even told you so.

Except for one person.

Logan Sanders.

He was your best friend, and always had been. He had been helping you since preschool, when you two got partnered together. 

Logan had four brothers:

Roman, Patton, Virgil, and Thomas.

They were all nice, sure, but Logan had your back. He helped you pass classes you never would've without him. He made you try new things you normally wouldn't have. Logan helped you meet new people, and break out of your shell. He also helped you to think things through better, and to see things from a logical point of view.

Honestly, without him, you probably wouldn't be the person you are today.

You snapped yourself out of your thoughts when your bully, Chad (Sorry if that's your name!) walked up to you and slammed you into the lockers.

"Hey, look at who is still here. Who would've thought that (Y/n) would still be alive? They're just a mistake. They weren't supposed to be here. They should be D E A D."

The last word hit you in the gut like Chad had done so many times before.

That was it.

You weren't supposed to be here.

Life had been miserable ever since your father left you when you were 6. You had been constantly bullied, and it didn't help when your ex- friend from high school told everyone one of your dark secrets, that you had trusted them with.

You cut yourself. You burn yourself with a lighter. You once jumped off a tree (Nearly broke a few bones, too.) Anything at all to hurt yourself. You found cutting easiest though.

You weren't too stupid though. You didn't cut your wrists. You cut your thighs, the bottom of your feet, your chest. Anywhere that wouldn't be easily revealed. Your thighs were the main target.

Maybe, if you left this world behind...

...maybe everyone would be happier...

But what about Logan? Patton? Thomas, Roman, or Virgil? They cared about you, right?

Wrong.

No one has ever cared for you, and no one ever will.

As Chad beat you up (again) these thoughts raced through your mind. You broke free, your mind made up. You ran for the stairs, everyone watching you. Chad was chasing you. You didn't care.

It was lunch time, so many students were outside having lunch. No one came on to the roof. It was prohibited.

That didn't  matter to you.

Chad stopped chasing you once he saw were you were going. You made it to the top and began calming down.

Knowing you're about to die made you feel strangely calm.

You walked to the edge and went to the front of the building. You WANTED to make a scene. You WANTED to watch as everyone panicked down below, begging you not to jump. Most of all though, you wanted to see Logan and his brothers one last time. You hoped they would be okay without you.

You stood at the edge, gripping the railing so tight your knuckles turned white. You were nervous, but excited.

The first kid to notice you was a girl who just started going to this college. She stared at you and whispered something to her friends, who turned around to see what was going on. One of them screamed.

You grinned as all the other students turned to see. They started gasping, you could hear it from here. You could walk away right now, play it off like you wanted to see the view from the roof.

But you didn't want to do that.

And they knew what you wanted to do.

You watched the the Sanders turned around from at their table by the tree. You watched their faces turn pale. You watched as Logan ran off into the school. You knew you could jump now, but what fun would that be?

The rest were gathering underneath you, getting ready to catch you in case you jumped. 

The door from the stairs slammed open and footsteps were heard.

That was fast.

"Don't come any closer, Logan." You spoke, your voice giving away nothing.

"What are you doing? This makes no sense to me. I-I can't figure it out. Why are you doing this, (Y/n)?" Logan's voice rang out, still showing no emotion.

Or did you hear fear in his voice?

"Because, Logan. I have nothing to live for. Everyone hates me. I hate me," you turned you head, your (Hair length) (H/c) hair waving with the wind, your (E/c) eyes locking onto Logan's.

"You have lots to live for. The chances of you being here are 400 trillion to one! Your deoxyribonucleic acid (DNA) is unique in everyway. You have a stable weekend job, a good education and a stable career ahead of you. And you're still young! You have the chance to reproduce still. And not everyone hates you. Although everyone has their own opinion, some people are just... Wrong," Logan spoke calmly, not letting anything show in his voice.

"Logan, it's too late for me, look," you rolled up your pants untill it showed your cuts and burns.

Your were facing Logan and he looked...

...Scared?

"Why would you harm yourself? It just doesn't add up. The human race has evolved for thousands of years to adapt, and to stay safe. But they couldn't protect themselves from... Themselves?" Logan now sounded confused.

You spoke once more.

"Just because I laugh and smile

Makes you think I'm fine.

I'm hurting badly inside

But I can't take it anymore

So I take the pain from inside

And put it outside

Hoping 

It'll go away."

Something surprising happened at that moment no one could've predicted.

Logan started crying. Through his tears, he said this.

"I'm sorry."

That was all you needed. You jumped off the edge and ran to Logan, wrapping him in a hug. He hugged you back.

"It's not your fault, Logan."

"Will you let me protect you, (Y/n)?"

"...Okay."