The God and the Siren (Loki Romance)

Chapter Thirty-One

Things have been quiet. I haven't spoken to Loki since our argument, which was a day ago. Not that we haven't missed each other going in and out of the apartment, but the conversation's been clipped and to the point—assuming there was one to speak of.

As for the others, I've kept neutral and non-hostile—I wouldn't go as far as to say that I've been friendly, but enough to keep tension levels as low as possible. Though the longer this goes on, the more I start to feel like it might actually be time for me to go. Take that variable out of the equation altogether.

More than anything, that feeling grows the more I think about the fact that I've been living here on Tony's good graces—for the sake of safety in numbers—but I've hardly spoken to him in weeks. And being cooped up in my room has left me feeling more like an outsider than I ever did before.

Self-inflicted? Maybe. But sorting everything out has been difficult and confusing. Obviously, I won't even deny that I've grown to love and care about all the Asgardians as friends, and that I still love and care about Pepper and Tony. I probably always will—the moments and happy times we shared couldn't possibly have been fabricated.

On the other hand, every fundamental aspect of my life feels shifted. Outwardly, much of it is the same. Inwardly, though, it's been difficult to make room for the new realities I'm living in. Today, for example, I went to the studio early in the morning for some rehearsal, and then spent a few hours at work. Nothing was particularly different, but I didn't feel the same. I didn't feel like a dancer, and I didn't feel like an employee. All in all, it's become hard to see myself that way.

I wish I could say I haven't lost much sleep over it, but I definitely have. And I know I'm not the only one—it's half past midnight, and I heard Loki's door open a few minutes ago. Not that it prompted anything, I've continued laying against my pillows, listening to him shuffle down the hall and into the living room. And meanwhile, I've just been scrolling through Facebook, hoping that my eyes will eventually get droopy and tired from staring at a screen. I'd switched to my phone after spending forty five minutes looking at apartment postings online, and so far, anxiety has kept sleep at bay.

I blink, suddenly hearing Thor's door open as well. I move the phone away from my face, staring at the door as I listen to his heavy footsteps go down the hall, and into the living room. Strange—he's not usually up at this hour.

I listen to their voices mumble a bit before sitting up in bed, and slipping a leg out from under the blanket. I saunter quietly to the door, pressing my fingers against the crack as I turn the doorknob slowly—silently—until I can pull the door open without making a sound.

"It won't be sudden, brother..." I hear Thor's voice, and my brows knit together a bit.

"What I would have done, in that position. You remember what transpired."

I tilt the door a bit, lowering my weight slowly with every step onto the carpet as I slip out of my room, and inch down the hall a bit. With my back pressed against the wall, I listen quietly to the conversation in the living room.

After some imperceptible remark from Thor, I hear Loki's sullen voice once more, disagreeing with whatever it was that Thor suggested. "I can't—the situation is too delicate."

"Maybe," Thor mumbles. "But..." he sighs. "With her departure, life will go on, brother."

Something sinks in my chest.

"To come and go from our lives," Loki responds quietly. "like this... I feel responsible. I should have foreseen the consequences. Long before this, even. Before what happened, I should have foreseen, I..." he pauses. "But I had no care to do so."