It's Simple. I use you. You use me.

Chapter 5

Monday

I did not want to go to school today. I did not want to see Ethan's face. After what happened on Saturday, what was I to do ? Was he really going to make me have sex with him? 

I mean, yes he was a fine a** boy, but.. I...I was still a virgin. Was I really going to give something that important to a boy who just wanted to be relieved from stress? I couldn't. I said I would wait until it was with someone I truly loved. I regretted my decision so much right now. I had to tell him I changed my mind. I was not going to be a one night stand, or in his case a couple of night stands. 

I walked to my locker. He wasn't there with Heather as usual. Thank God. I was going to try my best to avoid him today. I'll text him later that I changed my mind. I'll stand my ground and be strong about it. I mean, he couldn't force me if I changed my mind.. could he?

I didn't see him all day. He wasn't in first period, lunch or 4th period. That was good for me, right? Maybe he read my mind, and knew I didn't want to see him. 

I walked home after school. My manager was out of town today so she decided to close the cafe for the day. Therefore, I had the day off. I was excited. I could finish my homework early and the book that I began reading last week.

As I was walking, I got a text...from him. I got nervous. This was my chance. I was going to tell him I changed my mind. Tell him that I wasn't going to be his booty call like the other girls.

The text read. "I need you right now" He needed me.. he needed me for sex. 

Tell him now Lucille. Tell him, you changed your mind. I breathed. 

"I changed my mind. I'm not going to do it" I replied back. I felt proud of myself.  He didn't reply for a couple of minutes. Why hasn't he replied?  Was it good? Maybe he understood and agreed to leave me alone. Yeah, that must be it. I finally got to my house. But when I looked up, I saw him. He was standing in front of my my door. Oh no. No wonder he didn't reply.

I walked up to my door calmly. What was he doing here? I pretended he wasn't there and walked past him to open my door. 

"You can't just change your mind," I heard him say. 

"I already did," I replied, opening the door. He followed in. I turned around to face him.

"Get out."

"No."

"I said, get out. You have no right to barge into my house."

"Well, you have no right to change your mind."

"Really? Because last time I checked I didn't sign a contract. Besides, I didn't even say yes," I scoffed at him.

"You technically did."

"I technically didn't."

"Your mom heard it."

I was irritated, how long were we going to argue about this?

"I don't care if the whole world heard it. I changed my mind. I will not be your f.u.c.king f.u.c.k buddy!" All of a sudden, he pushed me against the wall. It wasn't too hard that I might hit my head, however. 

"Well, that must suck for you then."

Holding both my wrists up above my head against the wall, he kissed me. I tried breaking away, but his hold on me was too tight. He then pulled away to catch his breath, looking at me. 

"Don't deny me. I need you right now," he said with his vulnerable eyes. A boy who's been hurt too many times. He needed me to save him. He kissed me again. Not fully aware, I  felt myself kissing him back. He let go of my left wrist and used it to hold my face. We made out for a few minutes. Then, he began to kiss my neck. It made me moan. He kissed a spot I didn't know I had. I leaned my head back a little to give him better access. He kissed it up and down, moving onto my jawline and then whispered in my ear, " Let me have you". Should I let him have me? I changed my mind, but the way he looked at me... it was just so...I couldn't explain it. If I do, I would let him take my virginity. Should I really give my virginity up because a boy needed me to? Maybe that's what he meant when he said I owed him. He meant that I needed to save him, differently from how he saved me. He looked at me with the same feelings in his eyes. Something came over me and I nodded my head. He kissed me again and then he pushed me up so that my legs were wrapped around his waist and my hands around his neck. Holding me tightly while still kissing me, he walked us upstairs to my bedroom. I helped lead him and opened the door. He dropped me on the bed. I fell on my back  as he continued to kiss me. He kneeled as he straddled me. He took off his white v-neck revealing his perfect defined abs and v line. He then helped me to take off my button up shirt in which he started from the bottom button, kissing my stomach upwards. Finally, he ripped my bra off, fully revealing my stomach and chest, he came back to kiss my mouth. As he kissed me, I grabbed his hair, tangling my fingers through it. He then moved his head down to kiss my boobs. He started sucking the left side and moved to the right. I moaned. He then got up to take a condom out of his pocket. This was really happening. I was going to give him my virginity. The time we talked probably didn't even add up to a day, but here I was already giving my virginity away after agreeing to a stupid request, sort of. I looked up at him. 

"I-I'm a virgin" I blurted out. I had to tell him before it happened. 

He paused and stared at me then he smiled. "Better, I'll be your first," he said as he brought his hands to my cheek. He gently cupped it, and he kissed me on the lips. He unwrapped the condom, took off his pants, then pulled down my jeans and panties. Letting him see my purple panties with mini hearts made me turn red. It was embarrassing. I didn't have thongs and lace like the other girls. But then, he smiled. "Hearts, I like it". He put the condom onto his member. I was suprised by how big it was. Actually this was the first time ever seeing anyone's.. thing. I just stared at it. He saw me staring and said, "Like what you see? Don't worry, how it will feel in you is much better."

I've never done this before. 

"I'm scared," I said, nervously. 

Cupping my cheek with a smile, he said, "Don't worry. It'll hurt a bit at first, but after awhile it'll feel better." He slid his hands underneath me and grasped my lower back firmly. My breathe quickened. 

Then... it happened. He slid his member in me. He began by slowly rocking me. It hurt. Tears were forming in my eyes, I've never felt this pain before. He saw the tears and wiped it away. He began rocking me faster. Our bodies were moving together perfectly. My fingers dug into his back making him groan. The pain was easing and he was going faster and faster. It started to feel really good. This feeling...I then moaned loudly. He would kiss me little by little as we rocked. I could feel small liquid drops sliding down my thighs, but I didn't care. Our bodies were both pressed onto each other. Finally, after riding me for a few more minutes, he got off me and moved over to lay down next to me. We were both breathing heavily. I laid on his chest as we both fell asleep. 

It was 8:00pm when I woke back up. He was gone. He wasn't laying next to me anymore. I was just his booty call tonight.  Looking at my legs, I saw the deep red liquid splattered down my thighs and sheets, proof that I had just given up my virginity tonight. I got up to clean it. I didn't want my mom to walk in and see me like this. I was  suppose to be her perfect daughter, but now I wasn't anymore. I had given up my virginity to some boy who needed sex to relieve from stress. 

I threw my sheets into the washer and took a shower to clean myself up. After my shower, I went to finish my homework. So much for finishing my homework up and doing some reading, huh? 

What did I get myself into?

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