Winning Back Mr. Right

Chapter 47

(Backtrack...)

•Airie's POV•

"Do you love him too?"

I couldn't lie to him again about it so I just look away.

"You do, don't you?"

"Nate, I don't want talk about it."

"I'm just trying to understand."

"I can't do this. Please don't let me." I plead to him while trying to escape his grasp.

"You chose to be with me...Why? If you love him, why didn't you fight for him?"

I try to escape from his arms but he pulls me again to his side. "My god, Nate. Please. Just stop..."

We stare at each other intently for a second and in that moment, my whole body tensed at his misty eyes.

"Airie...I know you want to be the smaller person. You want to make up for the wrong things you've done. You want to make things right for us. But... did you really think I'd let you suffer just for my sake?"

I'm so shocked with what he said yet desperately wanted to believe him.

"I can't watch you live like this, Air. Every day when we wake up, I'm just gonna think that he's tugging your heart even more and you'll always crave for that love and connection beyond surface level that only you two understand."

Now I couldn't help but cry. I've been focusing too much on this little whispers in my head, at initial judgments and cliché movie tropes, that I didn't even realize, the person who is actually hurting, is now setting me free. "Nate..."

"Sssshhh...I'm sorry if I pulled you in for myself. I wasn't thinking. I just couldn't let you go like that, you know? I love you, Airie, I really do. But if you're not happy, I don't think it will make much difference if you stay with me."

"No. No. Don't say it. Please."

"I hate that we're drifting apart. But I know that I love you because I can't even hate you for breaking my heart..."

"Don't do this to me, Nate. Please..." I beg again.

"Someone has to."

I bite my lip to stop myself from crying harder. He bravely fought for me, for us, but he failed to bring me back and he's surrendering. I then reply, "I'm so sorry."

"I know...I also want you to know that you will always have a special place in my heart. I can never shake you lose off me. Not a chance."

There's nothing left for me to do but to wrap my arms around Nate. He cares about me more than I think and the hurts and transgressions that I've caused somehow seem smaller now. I can't really say that it will ever stop – the pain, when he gave me the best of him and he just watched me choose someone else. But I think, it would be worse if we stayed together. I could be with him and then cheat again. Only this time, I won't be afraid to do it. I won't have the conscience to even stop.

The whistles and ribbing of the guests sounded distant as he releases my hands and walks slowly away from the dance floor leaving me alone, certainly not out of fury, but of best intentions.

I shouldn't even have gone to Kevin's.

Just a couple of hours ago, I was at least around good people. Like the love fool that I was, I borrowed mom's car and drove all the way to his house to see him, leaving the party early like Nate. Oh, the acute heartbreak of a crazy love. Imagine my surprise when I went in only to witness some live action in his living room. I wanted to scribble Ben Harper lyrics on his perfectly white walls..."please bleed so I know that you are real, so I know that you can feel the damage you have done"