Winning Back Mr. Right

Chapter 30

•Airie's POV•

It's 4:31 am. I can hardly sleep. I let out a big sigh and roll over a few times. No matter which side of the bed I lay myself, it did not keep me from staring blankly at the ceiling and wishing it opens wide enough to swallow me whole. I even bite my lip and throw a pillow on my face.

"Shit!"

It's hard to deny the attraction and the intensity of it all when our whole body is telling you otherwise.

I'm so stupid. I didn't mean to do it. I mean, fine, maybe I did but I wasn't supposed to. I know I've been thinking about him lately, and trust me, it's driving me nuts. Juggling my thoughts of Nate and Kevin is not part of the plan.

What is the plan anyway?

But how can you stir clear from a person whose got hearts and flowers, not to mention T.I.M.E. to offer?

I stupidly hold onto my lips and recall how those soft lips were in mine, how he smiles within our kisses. I can still feel his touch on my face and the cute little traces he makes on my nose. I can also feel his breath on my ears and how he sounds insanely sexy when he is saying my name.

Everything just feels right...with Kevin.

It's bad enough that I lied and cheated in my thoughts. The worst part is giving in, making the images real despite being with a loving and selfless man.

Now I'm OFFICIALLY a liar and a cheater. What do I do? Fuck.

It is too early in the morning to fixate on someone yet daydreaming about him is the only thing that actually makes sense to me at the moment. My thoughts were easily distracted when the doorbell rang. I went down to open the front door, only to see my boyfriend standing outside with groceries in his hands and a big smile on his face.

"Good morning to the most beautiful woman in the world," said Nate with so much energy and a matching kiss on my temple.

"Hi..." I greeted back.

"Are you sick? You look a little pale." He noticed.

"W-What? No...no, I'm not."

"You sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure. Don't worry about me." I replied weakly and cleared my throat.

"I'm sorry. Did I keep you up last night? It's OK to stop thinking about me, you know." He winked and started laughing. I know he's trying to be sweet and funny and all that, but I don't have the slightest interest of doing the same thing.

***

Nate is the sweetest guy. He's also good looking and warm and kind. There was never an instance or any gossip about him cheating on me. He was faithful to me, completely. A lot of girls actually envy me because he's the "ideal" guy; charming, smart, responsible and loyal. I can never say enough. We've been together almost forever.

But, there's always a 'but'.

"Baby, I am so sorry. Doctor Wilson called up and I need to finish some papers on her charts. Like right now. Damn it! I swear I'm not working today but this is really important. Can we do this some other time?"

I paused for a moment feeling relieved for the most part.

"I'm really sorry but I love you. Only you."

I can't remember the last time I was excited to see him. Nate going to med school somehow drove us apart from each other. We barely talk, we rarely text or go on a date. He has to leave in the middle of something. It made feel like shit all the time.

But he's my Nate. He's always been a good guy and I know he did not want any of it to happen. He just...he has to.

Kevin sends me a message saying he's coming to see me, that he was ecstatic and determined to come over ASAP!

The thought of him coming over to my place excited me. Normally with Nate, I would be so conscious of how I look or what I would say or how I should or could react on situations. Yet with Kevin, all I had to do was to smile and be me and bring all the imperfections that come along with just being me.

I find myself running back to my room forgetting about Nate the second I read his message. Then I took a shower beating my own ten-minute rule discovering that even in the bathroom, I was still reading his messages. I couldn't get my phone to leave my side.

Once again, the doorbell rings. I go down immediately to welcome that handsome face that has been in my dreams lately. He's got me thinking of all those crazy "firsts" we can do together but to my surprise, it's Nate.

***

Nate stared at me for a moment and said, "Thanks for making yourself beautiful for me. You didn't have to. You know I love you in skirts or in witch costume."

My heart sank so very deep that I felt like drowning in my own guilt.

Thinking about it now, I actually am not sure how Kevin and I started this charade. All I know is that when I look at him, I see the 'what ifs' in my life become real. I drag my feet back to my room. Hearing Nate's words over and over in my head is enough torture. It wasn't long when I had to get the door again.

"Kevin. Hi..."

"You look nervous. I like it."

I couldn't help but smile a little. He has this contagious positive energy that I love.

"What are you doing here?" I turn around and he follows me from behind.

"What do you think?"

"Well, since you're here. I need to talk to you."

"About what?" He tilts his head, confused.

"About us."

"I want to talk to you about that too."

"No Kevin. This..." I point back and forth to the two of us, shaking my head side to side.

"Is incredible." He finishes my sentence.

"This has to stop."

"Sure..." He murmurs, not taking me seriously.

"I'm serious about this."

"Me too." He answers back. I doubt it.

I got annoyed all of a sudden. "Ugh! You're not making this easy. What are you even doing here?"

"I told you. I want to see you and since I already did, I'm all good."

"What? That's it?"

"Yes. But you're arguing with me that we shouldn't be together so I think I have to stay here and remind you about us myself."

I almost laugh at his attempt to seduce me.

"I want you to think closely of the things you want to do. And if you're ready to do it, I'll be here. Life is short and boring unless you do things differently. Do not be afraid to try, love. You just have to want it really bad."

I'm not sure what to say. For a second there, I wanted to believe him. I wanted to believe that nothing, absolutely nothing is impossible as long as you'd be brave enough to try.

"Airie, I want to prove to you that there's a reason why we crossed each other's paths. You just have to let me."