Winning Back Mr. Right

Chapter 32

•Kevin's POV•

"Dad, don't be mad at your secretary. I let myself in. This can't wait."

He looks up at me then back to his laptop, not saying a word.

"I talked to mom and she told me everything."

"Told you what?" His stance now speculating my next move.

"She told me you think I'm not your son."

Dad's sharp eyes glare at me like I'm some kind of a twig he wants to snap into pieces.

"What else did she tell you?" He asks while getting out of his desk.

"It doesn't matter. I am your son. We can do a DNA test. Whatever."

"You don't know what you're saying." The tone of his voice is too low then his jaw tightens.

"Actually, I do. After all these years, I finally understood. You hated her deeply for leaving and I grew up with a father, eating dinner with him every night, yet he was absent and emotionally unavailable which I think is even worse than not having a father at all."

"Is that what she told you?" He snorts. "Ha! You're much more stupid than I think."

"What do you mean? If none of this were true, then why don't you just tell me yourself? Is it so hard to make a conversation with me, dad?"

"Is it so hard for you to understand that I don't enjoy having you here in my office, always complaining about your so-called emotional damage?! Ask her again. Maybe she'll tell you the truth this time."

"You know what? I don't think I should ask mom anything anymore. I saw what kind of husband you were to her so that's possibly one of the reasons why she left. You're a grown-up who is depressed and with struggling anger issues. You drive people away. And now, you are obsessed with your own emotional needs that you have very little, almost to a zero regard to your son. You're a fucking monster!"

I didn't see it coming. I didn't even notice him approaching me. He landed a short, quick punch on my mouth. This sudden, forceful effort to hit me made my lip bleed. He pulled me up with my collar and pounded me again.

"Get out. Right now. Before I kill you." He says in between his teeth.

I hold my jaw and lick the blood beside my mouth. I'm the scapegoat between my parent's history and I have had enough of this crap.

•Airie's POV•

"Sorry I had to call you girls this late."

"That's fine, dear." Cadie assures me. They gather around me pretending they haven't notice how off I was lately.

I know they are sensing that something's up but no one dared to ask me. I'm glad they didn't because it's just so hard to face them when I can't even look at myself in the mirror without feeling nauseated. I keep asking my self-centred heart how I am able to sleep at night when I'm doing something totally appalling. And how this totally appalling thing makes me so damn happy.

"I just don't know what to do anymore." I begin.

"You're finally caught up between your man and the other guy, huh?" Gabby blurts out tactlessly.

"We can't have it both ways. It's hard as it is." Ellie seconds the motion.

So they knew. Cadie probably told them. I mean, who else would it be?

"Spill. Talk to us, Air. Tell us the truth. And don't you dare hold back." Cadie threatens me.

I look at all of them for a second, trying to find the courage to confess my sin out loud.

"Kevin and I.... we kissed."

"Holy shit! You did not." Nessa curses aloud.

"We did a few times. I got caught up in the moment..." My eyes suddenly swell up. I felt like my chest was going to explode.

"Why the hell are you crying?!" Gabby exclaims.

"Because I know it was wrong and I did it anyway. I didn't even feel the slightest of fear doing it because it's what I wanted."

"Did it feel right?"

I blink and a teardrop falls off my cheek. "For a moment. Then I snapped back to reality." I rub my eyes, stopping myself from crying even more.

"Why do you think you did it?" Cadie asks, without sounding judgemental. I appreciate that.

"I don't know...because I'm weak and vulnerable and stupid."

"No!" Gabby snaps at me. "Because you were alone and lonely and because you're human. That's why." She argues.

I shake my head. "I can't justify things like that. Even if Nate's busy all the time, that doesn't mean I can cheat on him."

"Well, him being in med school doesn't also mean he has the right to take you for granted. You should have time for each other. He's studying ridiculously for long hours but he also has to give time for his partner at some point."

"He's trying." I add.

"But you kissed Kevin anyway." Cadie lays the reality on the table. "So Nate TRYING wasn't enough. If what he's doing is enough, then you wouldn't be so vulnerable after all. It only means your relationship has been shaky first hand. Kevin was just there to magnify it for you. So stop over-analysing things. It was just a kiss."

"Just a kiss? Can I live with that? I'm so confused. I don't want to feel this way but I can't help it. I just want to mean something to someone, you know? Like REALLY mean something. I had that with him."

"I understand, sweetie. Girls want someone to want them back. Sometimes, we become fault-finders in the relationship because of it."

"What's that?"

"Well, basically, it's when a girl finds fault in everything. Nothing is the way she wants it...simply because her man can't give it at times."

"Is that me? Maybe that's my problem."

"Not necessarily. Sometimes...a woman just puts up with her man's BS nonsense for so long."

"I don't know what to think anymore. Being with Kevin is wrong but it feels so right."

"What about you and Nate? Where did it go wrong?" Nessa asks.

"I'm not sure. I think it started when he spent more time in Sacred Heart, almost to the point where I have to beg him to see me...which, by the way, is still the case up until now. Later on, he would just take off after we make love that it made me feel like shit. He would run off in the middle of a meal or answer a phone call in the middle of a serious conversation. It's annoying. He would often make up for all the lost time and then the cycle begins again. I guess I grew tired of waiting, of constantly understanding, of always compromising."

"Wanting something that isn't there...it always happens. People often want things they can't have or is not available." Ellie preaches.

"Then what do I do?"

"Be true to yourself, Air. If you don't want any of these anymore, tell him and make a decision."