A Simple Mistake || Ashton Irwin (completed)

Part 18: Mia

Playlist: Why by Secondhand Serenade, AWOL by Broadway, Blurry by Puddle of Mudd, Over and Over by 5 Seconds of Summer, Here Without You by 3 Doors Down, Your Love is a Lie by Simple Plan, These Four Walls by Little Mix, Thinking of You by Katy Perry, The Lonely by Christina Perri, I Miss You (cover) by 5 Seconds of Summer, Words by Skylar Grey, Pretty Girl by Sugarcult, The One That Got Away by Katy Perry, Six Degrees of Seperation by The Script, Love Hurts by Incubus

How long does it take to fall in love with somebody?

How long is it acceptable without being judged? Without anybody telling you that what you feel isn't love...?

How long before people try to convince you that you are obsessed, infatuated, crushing, confused...?

How long until the words start to hurt?

How long until you are called a groupie? Until your own "friends" think you are an attention seeker?

How long until you lose yourself?

How long until you feel lost... used... mistreated... confused...?

How long until you start believing them? How long is long enough?

How long until your mind stops asking all of these questions...?

How long... Just how long...

It took me two weeks, two weeks to know I was falling in love with him.

And despite what everyone else had to say about the situation and despite what your own mind had to say... This feeling had to be love, because if it isn't... Then maybe I don't want to fall in love for real in the future. This feeling is strong enough as it is. It hurts enough as it is...

It took me two weeks to fall in love with him... One night to lose him... And I still haven't been able to forget him.

As I drive back home from the store, I can't stop the questions from forming in my head. One after the other drowning and pulling me until I am consumed by them.

One after the other like memories, like waves of sadness and doubt that want to pull me under until I can't anymore.

That's what thinking of Ashton feels like. That's how being with Ashton felt like. It was a wave after another of emotions. It was all filled with adventure and wonder... It still is, even though I haven't seen him since my birthday.

I want to see him again. I miss him so much.

Every day something happens and I wish I could ring him up and tell him.

He promised....

I had promised...

He said we would make it...

I shouldn't have believed him.

But I did...

I believed him. Every word he uttered in order to get what he wanted I believed.

The words, the memories, the images... They echo in my mind like distant memories. It all feels like a dream that comes rushing back to me.

My hand reaches for the volume of the radio in the car so I can raise it up, louder and louder even though the words aren't registering in my head. But the silence... The silence has become too much.

I don't want to admit it but the reason I feel this way is because I know how close he was. He was in Seattle... They had planned to meet today. Before all of it happened. Before it had all fallen apart.

And as I gripped the steering wheel at the stop sign, it took all of me to not pick up my phone and dial the numbers I had memorized to heart even though they were no longer saved up on my phone.

The truth was I needed him... Like an addict needs the needle; like an alcoholic needs another glass; like a child needs its mother. I needed him no matter how wrong it was because whenever I was with him everything made sense. Everything felt right.

But then another part of me told me that I was only acting crazy. I was a heart broken girl who couldn't let go of a boy who clearly didn't care. It told me that every word he had spoken was just that. Words...

(AUTHOR'S NOTE: So I have no clue what to say down here but I want to say yet again how greatful I am that people are actually reading my story. I am working on some new updates so keep your eyes open for some new stuff soon!! Remember to vote, comment and share! <3)