Isolated

Chapter 10

Chapter 10

It was like the first time all over again.  Just like it was when I first arrived here and was starting my new life without Luke.  With a new home, a new identity, new people, and most importantly no Luke.  Only this time... I didn't have any hope of returning back to my old life like I had hoped at the beginning.  Before, I was promised a year and even then it was hard.  But at the very least, I believed the job would get done and I could go home.  After three years, no sign of Reid getting caught, and time damaging us... I knew it was unlikely.  But now I knew for certain I couldn't return.  Even if somehow they catch Reid, I couldn't go back.  Luke was so hurt and damaged, it wouldn't be good or healthy if I reentered his life again like that.  He deserved better and I wanted him to just be happy.

I hope he would follow what I said the other night.  I knew it would be hard for him like it was for me - more so than what he showed me.  He acted as calm as he could just as I did. Who knows though.  Because right now, I was a wreck.  I was a complete wreck with no desire to pick my mood up.  I'm always forced to pick my mood up and even now, as I heard the front door open, I would at least have to try and act semi-normal. It triggered a groan from deep within me.

It was like... maybe five or six in the evening.  I didn't look for a while but that was a good guess I was sure.  However, upon hearing my front door open from where I was laying in bed, I did know it was late enough for Jackson to walk his ass over here.  Maybe he expected dinner but I knew in the back of my mind he was just curious.  After all, this morning I woke up and didn't go over there for breakfast.  I didn't talk to him at all today - and he knew I would especially want to. 

I asked Jackson yesterday to check in with the FBI - if he could do that - and he said he will see what he could do.  After all, Spencer got that weird visit from the FBI and questioned him.  It just didn't sound like something the FBI would do so Jackson was going to check into that today.  Of course, me being here in bed and wrapped in a certain someone's coat wasn't what he was expecting I know.  He probably wanted to know what held me back from running over there to see if he got the job done.

Upon hearing the front door open, Jack jumped down away from where he was laying with me in bed and happily went to greet our visitor.  For me, I could only groan into Luke's coat I took three years ago and always kept.  Still had his scent, even just faintly.  But it did help a little.  Especially as I grabbed the collar of it and pulled it up higher around my neck and face a little.  It was big on me obviously but it felt calming to wear his coat.  It's all I did all day.  Just lay here in bed and cry a little here and there.  But don't you worry folks.  I ain't going soft on you guys.  I was just... well, hurting quite badly.

"Jackson, I don't feel good!" I yelled out, taking a deep breath.  I heard the door close and could only sigh.  There was no avoiding him.  Clearing my throat some more from where I was laying on my side and facing the door, I waited and watched for him to enter.  I could hear him coming down the hall.  Instantly, I made sure my face was blank with nothing besides some of my usual annoyance with him around. 

"And guess who doesn't care," I heard his familiar voice through the still air of the house as I heard him coming closer down the hall. My ajar door my eyes were pinned on, I saw Jack prance his way back through the doorway first and jump back up on my bed to just lay down with me, tail wagging as he looked to where Jackson followed and pushed the door open more as he casually walked in. 

His face was blank, void of emotion like it usually is.  Eyebrows raised over his observant eyes, he was in his usual wear of jeans and a plain dark shirt, today navy blue.  Hair slicked back dark brown, I saw that all was the same. However, as he entered my room, he stopped and just... stared at me blankly.  Looked me over where I was laying over my made bed in that coat around me.  Head to the pillow as I stared up at him, I pursed my lips.  I didn't need him here.  I just didn't care to deal with anybody today was all.