Forbidden Love - Merlyn [2]

Chapter Eleven: Wanting What You Can't Have

Quick notice I'm changing the order of the episodes a little here. Lancelot and Guinevere will come first then The Nightmare Begins.

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Merlyn found herself aimlessly walking through the halls of the castle, not quite sure what to do. Her mind was completely focused on the kiss she had just shared with Arthur, it was more than she had accepted that was for sure. As was tradition for Arthur and Merlyn, Leon had interrupted their kissing session in Arthur's chambers when he knocked on the locked chamber door's. Merlyn had left out of the servant's entrance and was now wandering the corridors. However, she had absolutely no idea what was going to happen now. There were so many questions: would they be together? Could they be together? What would the king do? What would others think? Was she blowing everything out of portion?

"Ah Merlyn, just the person I was looking for" a voice called from behind her. At the voice Merlyn was pulled from her thoughts and she stopped in her tracks. It wasn't like she could ignore this person,  after all it was the Lady Morgana.

"Morgana" Merlyn greeted with a smile, she hadn't expected to see the Lady and was not fully listening. Merlyn tried her hardest to pay attention to the woman.

"Tomorrow I am visiting my father's grave" Morgana explained simply, her eyes showing a sense of saddest. Merlyn understood that the topic was painful for her. Merlyn had thankfully never lost a parent - she never knew her father so she had no idea what it was like to loose a parent. "And I was wondering if you would accompany me with Gwen. I find the journey to be quite upsetting at times and I would appreciate the distraction." It said a lot that the Lady wanted Merlyn there, the journey was a very personal one. Merlyn could see the need in Morgana's eyes but still she hesitated. There was one thing that prevented the young witch from saying yes.

"Arthur -"

"Arthur will do just fine for one day without you" Morgana argued. Merlyn bit her lip as she looked to the floor. She couldn't exactly say no ... and she guessed it would stop any awkwardness between herself and Arthur if the prince started to regret the kiss they had shared. Looking back up at Morgana, Merlyn noticed the woman's desperate look.

"I guess you are right" Merlyn replied with a smile.

"So, you'll come?" Morgana asked with hope in her eyes.

"Yes, I will" Merlyn said to which Morgana smiled with relief.

"Good." With that the Lady left Merlyn to her own devices. Merlyn however had no idea what to do. Did she stay away from Arthur's chambers, go back and have an awkward conversation, go back and act like nothing happened, go back and kiss him again ... there was so many options and Merlyn just didn't know which one was the right one. But the fact that Merlyn wouldn't be at work tomorrow had to be discussed. Slowly, Merlyn began to head back to Arthur's chambers, biting her nail the whole way - she had no idea what was going to happen, and frankly she was scared to find out.

~8~

Arthur was sat in his chambers, on his bed, fiddling with his fingers. Merlyn had kissed him; he had kissed Merlyn. And it was amazing but could he really allow it to happen again? He really, really wanted it to, he'd be happy to kiss Merlyn for the rest of his life but how much danger was he putting her in for his own selfish needs? He didn't know what to do, if his father ever found out about them, he would kill Merlyn for certain and Arthur couldn't allow that to happen. Why did he tell her he loved her in the first place? This was going to make everything so much harder.

Suddenly, Arthur's chamber door opened and the subject of his thoughts came walking in, unsure and clearly nervous - two emotions she didn't often portray. Slowly the door shut behind Merlyn whilst Arthur and her stared at one another intently. There was so much said in that look: they both remembered the kiss, they both wanted it to happen again but both knew it couldn't. Even though Arthur wanted to pull his gaze from Merlyn's he couldn't, he was transfixed. To make matters worse, his eyes kept dropping to her lips; he now knew what they felt like beneath his, he knew what she felt like against him, he knew what her hair felt like between his fingers, he knew it all ... and gods was it torturing him.