34
Sumakay na kami sa kotse niya at pumunta ng jewellery store. He keeps on asking what kind of ring I like. Suggest siya ng suggest but I kept quiet. Naguguluhan ako sa mga nangyayari. Parang ang bilis. Akalain mong may amnesia itong si Oca pero instead ang pagpapagaling ang iniisip, eh atat na atat pang makasal sa akin. Hindi naman sa nag iinarte ako but everything is just so sudden. Kahit sino siguro na nasa kalagayan ko mawiwindang sa ganitong situation. Kahit pa sabihing uber super duper gwapo ang pakakasal sayo.
“Do you think everything will be settled by next week?” He interrupted my thoughts. Next week?
“Next week? Bakit ka nagmamadali?”
“No, I am not in a hurry. It’s just that your stomach is not getting any smaller and I should have married you even before I impregnated you. I didn’t know why I didn’t do that.” Umiling siya na parang iniisip kung bakti hanggang ngayon ay hindi pa rin kami kasal.
Napatingin at napanganga lang ako kay Oca.
“Ano motif ang gusto mo?” I looked at him tapos lumunok ako. My God!
“Oca this is not right. Hindi tayo dapat magpakasal.” I grimaced after I sid those words.
“Why?” He asked puzzled.
“Because you have an amnesia! And because we are not really getting married before that accident. We didn’t have a row that time. We broke up. Our relationship during that time is a mess. And now you can’t remember anything, anything about me. You can’t marry someone you don’t know.” There I said it. Please tell me, I’m right. Right?
“But you are pregnant. Hindi pwedeng hindi kita pakasalan!” C'mon! Oca was never noble. Well, he was sweet but not noble.
“You can’t just marry me because I am having your child! That’s not the reason why people marry each other. And that would not be my reason for marrying you.” I shouted at him. Is he getting into my nerves?
“Then what is your reason? What is the reason why people marry each other Joanne?” He shouted at me. Naninigaw na siya ngayon! So very unlikely of a guy with an amnesia. If, the doctor didn’t confirm it, I shoouldn’t have believe it. I know that I shouldn’t have dealt with him this way but I can’t allow this to continue. I felt that this is wrong and I have a strong faith to womans instinct.
“Because they love each other! That’s it.” I know it's cheesy but I don't really believe in marriage for convenience. For me, marriage is still sacred. I still believe in its sanctity.
“Then tell me, didn’t we love each before? Kasi ako Joanne, nawala man ang memory ko, pero alam ng puso ko na minahal kita at mahal kita hanggang ngayon. Nararamdaman ko. My brain may forget you, but my heart just can’t. Now tell me, do you love me? Or did you ever loved me?” He sound hopeless. As if nakasalalay ang buhay niya sa sagot ko.
“Oca…” now what would I say?
“Just be honest with me. Sabihin mo ang totoo. I will understand.” Now he really sound defeated. I am not used to this kind of Oca. He should have been joking right now. Hindi yung tinititigan niya ako na para akong matutunaw.
“ca, of course, I love you. But…”
“Then there’s no reason bakit hindi tayo magpakasal. Unless you think of me as someone not worth marrying.” Not worth marrying? Is he serious? Hello! Any woman would trade everything just to marry him. Sino ang aayaw? I would love to marry him, but considering his state, what if maalala niya ako? Paano kong maalala niya na hindi pala niya ako dapat pinakasalan. He denied me, so there is a big possibility na pagsisisihan niya pag nakasal na kami na may amnesia pa siya. And I don’t know if I could take it kung matatauhan na siya at kasal na siya sa akin tapos pagsisisihan niya na pinakasalan niya ako. Or much worse, baka isipin pa niyang I took advantage of his situation at pinikot ko siya.
“I hope you know that I wouldn’t marry you, if I didn’t love you right? Walang makakapilit sa akin kung ayaw ko talaga. And I hope you realized that I shouldn’t have made you pregnant if I don’t have the intention of marrying you or getting serious with you. I am no longer a teenager who does not to know the consequences of my actions. And I hope that by now you already realized that I don’t give up easily and that sadly, whether you like it or not, that child is going to recognized me as his father and that you and I will be sharing the same name soon.”
