blind :: muke au

1.8 - daddy issues

after calum insisting that he couldn't drive him due to "daddy issues", luke finally convinced him to drive him to the library and just let michael bring him back. he thought that was fair enough.

luke felt butterflies in his stomach the whole ride their, ignoring calum's incisive complaints about how he was in a very delicate state right now and he didn't think that driving him would be good for his "mental health".

all luke could think about was michael.

he didn't understand why he was feelings this way (like he was going to puke and faint at the same time), he had never really had this feeling up until recently, which made him come to the dreadful conclusion that he tried to avoid for the past few weeks.

it was obvious. all the signs were there. he got butterflies around him, his cheeks were constantly a light shade of pink, he didn't dread getting up in the morning anymore...

luke liked michael. not a "just friends" like, but he liked him in that way.

he didn't really know where it started it how it happened, but what he did know was that he if he didn't tell him, he was going to loose his shit.

that's when luke decided that he was going to march in there and tell michael how he felt before he chicken out.

calum got out of the car and guided luke up the railing carefully till they were standing in front of michael was propped up against the side of the library waiting.

"blind." he breathed out, something different in his voice. luke couldn't tell what it was, but he sounded tired... sad, maybe?

luke smiled. "michael."

calum coughed awkwardly before taking his hand off the small of Luke's back slowly and backing away. "i'll, uh, go. have fun.. talking." calum said before turning on his heel and walking to his car.

luke turned back to michael and stood there awkwardly. "so?"

the blonde boy suddenly felt michael's hand slip around his waist and lead them forward into the library. his touch burned through luke's shirt, and the annoying butterflies started again.

if this is what it felt like to like someone, he didn't like it.

michael led them to the back of the library at their usual table, helping luke into his seat before sitting down himself.

"is the librarian here?" luke suddenly asked him, a large grin growing on his face.

"luke--"

"the one with the abnormal tits. i remember whenever she kicked us out,"

"luke--"

"i was so pissed at you. you have no idea."

"LUKE."

michael's outburst caused luke to jump a little bit in his seat, making him blush a little bit. the boy with the pastel hair couldn't help but let out a small laugh and put his hand across the table onto luke's.

luke's skin burned again.

"luke, i need to tell you something important." michael sighed.

"can i go first? i think mine is more important." luke said bravely, taking in a deep breath to mentally prepare himself.

luke cut michael off before he could respond, sitting up in the chair and letting everything out.

"michael, i hate you so much, you have no idea. you're a sarcastic, un funny bastard that convinced a blind man to go to play twister at his family's house just to get judged on his sexuality, but you still made him feel like he ment something. i hate you because you make me feel a little less shitty than i really am and that you actually give me something to live for. i also hate you for running into me the first time we met because you knocked me down and made me fall on my ass, which really hurt."

"luke.."

"shut up. i hate you for a lot of things, michael clifford, but making me fall for you is probably what i hate you for the most. i'm not in love with you, i'm in like with you. which is actually really shitty because i never really planned on it or anything, but you somehow make me feel like shit and amazing at the same time. but don't take this as me pouring my heart out to you, because i really suck at this and i'm probably the least romantic person ever. oh my god, what did i just do."

"luke!"

"oh, and it's totally cool if you don't feel the same way. i don't really expect you to, honestly. i am a piece of shit who has always been a dick to you, and here you are just being a perfect little cunt that drives me crazy. god, i want to kiss you or something but i'm not going to even try because i'll probably miss your lips and end up kissing your eyeball."

luke didn't know what the hell was going on, but when he felt a pair of lips kiss his nose, he didn't care.

it went silent for a while.

"does this mean--"

"i slept with her, blind. i slept with her." michael blurted out.

luke's heart dropped down to his stomach and his bottom lip started to tremble.

"who?" luke asked quietly, already knowing the answer.

"delilah. i did it. i slept with her." he spoke quietly.

"oh."

luke felt like crying. how could michael make him embarrass himself like that? did this mean michael was straight? god, he felt so stupid.

"blind.." michael reaches out for luke's hand, but he snatches it back quickly.

"i want to go home." luke whispered, refusing to cry in front of michael.

"luke--"

"please take me home, michael."

michael let out a long sigh before standing up from his chair and helping luke stand up, before guiding them out of the library and out to his car.

. . . . . .

luke felt numb.

the whole ride to his apartment consisted of michael's apologizes and luke's demeaning silence.

michael helped him out and walked him to his apartment, not a single word being said.

luke fished for his keys silently.

"luke--"

"don't."

he pulled out the key and gave it to michael. michael sighed before unlocking it slowly and handing the key back to the blonde boy.

"thanks." he mumbled, taking the key back and stepping into the apartment.

"luke, i like you too. i was just confused when i slept with her and it ment nothing." michael sighed.

luke gave him a tight smile and nodded. "you don't owe me an explanation, michael. you don't have to explain yourself. i'll see you around, yeah?" he said weakly, starting to close the door.

"luke.."

but luke had already shut the door in his face and pressed his back against the door, sliding down slowly till his knees were pressed into his chest.

calum walked out from his room once he heard the door shut to find a curled up luke on the floor. he rushed over to him quickly and put his arms around his bestfriend.

"luke, what's wrong?"

it wasn't till calum had asked him till he started to sob into his friends chest profusely.

//

AW IM SORRY I HAD TO DO IT IM V UPSET W/ MYSELF ://///

sorry it took so long to update i have had school work the size of mountains

tell me why blind is rated r now i?????

but hey you should follow me on twitter @PNKCOCK

that wasn't very sensitive of me oops i know we are all in a very delicate state right nOW UGH OFM HOLD ME PLEASE

-marinaRA SAUCE