Brooklyn Lights

Chapter 13 - Part 2 : Good bye

Previously in chapter 13-part 1... 

"Mom why have you come back here? Please just calm down, you're upsetting Moira."

"Zayn shut the fuck up and will both of you just listen! Zayn it was all my fault and I just want to say that I'm sorry for everything." 

Putting Moira in the chair beside me, I step in front of her. "Listen mum, I get it okay. You don't have to say it."  

"No I have to say it! Because I am, I was in the wrong Zayn. I am in the wrong. But you don't understand whats been going on in my head. You don't understand. You don't understand what it is like to be me, nobody does." 

                                                                           Part 2 

"I'll never stop dreaming that one day we can be a real family, together, all of us laughing and talking, loving and understanding, not looking at the past but only to the future."  ~ LaToya Jackson

                                              ***Zayn's P.O.V*** 

"Mom, we love you no matter what you do. You could be a serial killer for all that matters. But no matter what you end up doing, me and Moira are your son and daughter. And we will love you all the same." 

Stepping closer to mom, she flinches and pushes me into the wall. "I...I didn't mean to do that. You startled me. I just.. Zee, you know me, right? You and I have always had a close bond. You know this isn't me. You know that I can be different, you know that I will try to be different. You've been so good to us for years on end and I want to pay you back." 

I really don't know what to do right now. My moms in a different world and my sister is hysterical in the chair beside me. It's hard for me to be here for both of them because I just can't. It's killing me inside knowing that I can't just wish this all away and go back to how it usually is, how we used to be. 

"Moira, go into the living room. Please?" 

I really don't want her to stay around and listen to mom's consistent babbling. I understand that there's something wrong with mom and I think that by talking to her I can try to figure it out. But for a 15 year old to sit and listen to it all? I won't let that happen. Pulling her into a hug, I kiss the top of her head. "It'll be okay. I'm going to help her, I'll join you soon." 

Once the door shuts, I grab mom's wrist and sit her on the dining room table. 

"Mom, what's...what's been happening with you lately?" I feel like this is the first place  to start. I don't mean to sound rude or anything but I feel that if I get start from here and not jump into it, yell at her for the things she's been doing I might be able to get more out of her. 

"Well...What do you m-m-mean? I don't...I don't get it." 

"Mom, whats been going on everyday? How do you feel everyday?" 

"Fine. I've been fine." She smiles at me weakly. Denial. I know that she isn't telling me the truth and its breaking me. When I was younger myself and my mom were inseparable. I always used to tell her my secrets which back at the time meant everything to me even if they were the silliest little things. What I loved was the fact that I could have that relationship with my mom. But now? She's hiding things from me when I know somethings wrong with her. 

"Mom. Everyday your different. One day your happy the next day your angry. You've been having crazy mood swings and you've been sneaking off places every once and a while. Mom you even had Moi's pinned up against the wall the other day, screaming at her, this isn't you and I'm worried mom." Pushing the seat back violently, she jumps out of her seat and pushes me back.